wellness

Transcending The Perils of Emotional Invalidation

February 9, 2021 by Brandon Jamil

By: Brandon Jamil

Emotional invalidation is having your emotions dismissed, denied, and ignored. Emotional invalidation is a common experience when we have actively accepted and normalized abusive behavior. Often, we normalize abuse when the very people that proclaim to love us– abuse us. These people can be our parents, care takers, friends, family members, etc. It can be challenging to identifying poor treatment, toxicity, and abuse because society programs us that our family is by default supposed to have our best interest. Thus, they would only act in accordance with good intentions.

Additionally, some people don’t have the capacity to address their own emotions and can process them. This is to say, for some, emotions can be uncomfortable because they grew up in environments where emotions where perceived as a human weakness. Having emotions meant that you could potentially bring chaos and destruction to the family unit. Which causes a greater threat–the breakdown of the family unit. We have seen these dynamics play out in myriads of ways. For instance, we tell little boys that crying is girly. Or we’ve seen girls being told that their future husbands don’t care about their useless emotions. By suppressing our emotions vs experiencing them we don’t build the skills necessary to understand our emotions. More importantly, we don’t learn and cultivate compassion, empathy, and gentleness. Which all aide us when we’re experiencing intense emotions.

Then we have what I like to call the “perpetual positivity correctional officers.” These are the people that we go to with a grievance, and they try to remind us just how lucky we are to be alive, or they tell us that we should be happy because all the good we have done, etc. Another iteration of this can be them stating that we’re above our negative feelings and we should only focus on the good feelings. For example, “just throw away the negative thinking and your life can change.” Well, here’s the thing, you wouldn’t tell a grieving mother that just lost her son to change her way of thinking. A compassionate and caring person would understand that the first steps to healing is acknowledging that the pain is there–not go on a denial bliss mission. We would convey something on the lines of, “Let it out honey, I just let it out.” And then allow the person to gradually find their own solid footing to land their emotions.

All of which brings us to the “did it really happen that way person.” Yes, we know this personality all too well. Usually, we go to them and share how we feel, and their retort is, “are you sure it happened like that? I mean you have the tendency to overreact or become too emotional in these situations.” Albeit they mean well when they state things like this, but the reality is we’re human and sometimes we just need someone to listen to us–without trying to course correct us. Now, I am not suggesting that if we’re inflicting harm on ourselves or others, then the person listening shouldn’t have a cause for concern. However, I am suggesting that sometimes the people we go to for emotional support need to understand that it’s not their job to fix us, we simply just want a compassionate ear. We must state what we need in that moment, and they can either accept or deny our request. Either way, we’ll know who and what we’re dealing with moving forward.

Also, we have the person I call the refuser. The refuser is set on not having any emotional exchanges–for whatever reasons. Everything for this person is based on logic and logic alone. This person takes out the emotional content and believes they are doing all of us a service by not being emotionally intelligent. If your emotional material doesn’t fit into the parameters of their logic–they deem your emotional state as insignificant. When we try to reason with this person, they remain despondent and distant from us, because they hold the belief that our emotions are just unreasonable and a means for us to seek their attention or validation.

Regardless of how emotional validation shows up in our lives, we must understand it doesn’t belong in our life. The way out is first is providing healthy space for our emotions to breathe, to exist, to have a voice, and most importantly–being able to move them out of our bodies by working with them through the body. Somatic body work and yoga are great for healing the emotions, because they all provide a safe space for the emotions to land. Similarly, we need ensure that we begin to share our emotions with people that have earned our respect, trust, and they’ve demonstrated care, tenderness, and compassion towards us–even if it’s a therapist.

Chocolate Oat – Chia Pudding Recipe

September 20, 2019 by kayleenmesa

I’m excited to share one of my newest and current favorite recipe to calm my nighttime sugar cravings.

Before we get started, I want to encourage you to look at the foods, deficits, and behaviors in your life that are the underlying causes of your cravings. Many people view cravings as weakness, but really, they’re important messages meant to help you in maintaining balance. When you experience a craving, deconstruct it. Ask yourself, what does my body want and why?

*Photo by: Kayleen Mesa*
*Follow on Instagram: @dearpeachesandgrace*
*Website: peachesandgrace.com*

Here I’m sharing 8 causes of cravings!

1. LACK OF PRIMARY FOOD: Being dissatisfied with a relationship or having an inappropriate exercise routine (too much, too little, or the wrong kind), being bored, stressed, uninspired by your job, or lacking a spiritual practice may all cause emotional eating. Eating can be used as a substitute for entertainment or to fill the void of primary food.

2. WATER: Lack of water can send the message that you’re thirsty and on the verge of dehydration. Dehydration can manifest as hunger, so the first thing to do when you get a craving is drink a full glass of water. Excess water can also cause cravings, so be sure that your water intake is well-balanced.

3. YIN-YANG IMBALANCE: Certain foods have more yin qualities (expansive), while other foods have more yang qualities (contractive). Eating foods that are either extremely yin or extremely yang causes cravings in order to maintain balance. For example, eating a diet too rich in sugar (yin) may cause a craving for meat (yang). Eating too many raw foods (yin) may cause cravings for extremely cooked (dehydrated) foods or vise versa.

4. INSIDE COMING OUT: Often times, cravings come from foods we’ve recently eaten, foods eaten by our ancestors, or foods from our childhood. A clever way to satisfy these cravings is to eat a healthier version of one’s ancestral or childhood foods.

5. SEASONAL. Often the body craves foods that balance the elements of the season. In the spring, people crave detoxifying foods like leafy greens and citrus foods. In the summer, people crave cooling foods like fruit, raw foods, and ice cream, and in the fall people crave grounding foods like squash, onions, and nuts. During winter, many crave hot and heat-producing foods like meat, oil, and fat. Cravings can also be associated with the holidays, for foods like turkey, eggnog, and sweets.

6. LACK OF NUTRIENTS: If the body has inadequate nutrients, you’ll have odd cravings. For example, inadequate mineral levels produce salt cravings, and overall inadequate nutrition produces cravings for non-nutritional forms of energy, like caffeine.

7. HORMONAL: When women experience menstruation, pregnancy, or menopause, fluctuating testosterone and estrogen levels may cause unique cravings.

8. DE-EVOLUTION’: When things are going extremely well in your life, sometimes self-sabotage happens. We crave foods that throw us off, thus creating more cravings to balance ourselves. This often happens from low blood sugar and may result in strong mood swings.

Here’s what you need to make this super easy and delicious recipe!

RECIPE

Serves: 4
Total Time: 10 min.

Ingredients:
• 3/4 cup rolled oats
• 1/3 cup pure maple syrup
• 2 1/4 cups oat milk or other milk
• 1/4 cup cocoa powder
• Chia seeds to taste (this time I added 1 big tbs- P.S. I’m a chia seeds lover)

Instructions:
1. Place all the ingredients in a blender and blend for one minute. I like to gradually work my way up to high during the first 30 seconds of the blend, then continue on high for another 30 seconds.

2. Transfer the mixture to a small saucepan. Heat over medium, whisking constantly, until it starts to thicken (about 2 minutes). Continue to heat the pudding over medium heat for 3 more minutes, whisking constantly.

3. The pudding will be thick enough to eat right away, but you can refrigerate it for about an hour to enjoy a chilled pudding. The leftovers can be stored in an airtight container in the refrigerator for a few days.

This recipe works great as pre/post workout or a simple quick breakfast! Just add some nice sliced strawberries or mixed fruits and voila!

I would love to know what are your thoughts| comments about the root of your cravings. Share with me below⇣

Footnotes- Institute for integrative nutrition

GREENY-GREEN ALOE VERA DETOX SMOOTHIE RECIPE

September 17, 2019 by kayleenmesa

Photo by Kayleen Mesa
Follow on Instagram @dearpeachesandgrace

During the summer time I got to explore and play with some of my favorite foods! Aloe Vera vera happens to be one of them, not only because of its great digestive benefits, but also because since I was a kid this was my #1 natural remedy to treat sunburns, acne and dry skin.

Aloe vera may help decrease irritation in the stomach and intestines. The juice may also help people with irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) and other inflammatory disorders of the intestines.

Follow this simple and healthy recipe for making an easy green apple smoothie, with lots of spinach, healthy fats, fiber, refreshing green apple and of course aloe vera!

BENEFITS

• Boosts immune function
• Powerful anti-inflammatory
• Great for skin health
• Accelerates recovery after exercise
• Potent antioxidant
• Reduces high blood pressure
• Alleviates joint and muscle pain
• Boosts physical endurance
• Stabilizes blood sugar in diabetics
• Helps lower high cholesterol
• Excellent for digestion, and been shown to alleviate and even cure acid reflux, ulcers, and eliminates constipation
• Anti-cancerous

RECIPE

Serves: 1
Total Time: 5 minutes

Ingredients:
• 1 Frozen banana
• 1/2 Lime
• 1 cup Spinach
• 1 medium aloe vera leaf, filleted (approximately 1/2 cup)
• 1 scoop of collagen peptides (I like to add these to my smoothies for an extra collagen recharge!)
• 1/2 Green apple
• 1/2 Cucumber
• Chia Seeds (to taste)

Instructions:
Combine all of the ingredients in a blender and blend until smooth.

I hope you enjoy this recipe! and remember – this is not about what works well for others, its about what works well for YOU. Be sure to keep bio-individuality in mind and have fun experimenting.

Mat as Mirror

September 11, 2019 by kmychalowych

My yoga mat changed my life.

For a lifelong athlete– once a tennis player, once a power-lifter and (always) a competitor– that statement carries a lot of weight.

I spent the majority of my childhood and early adulthood in grueling, miserable workouts, in every variety and shape you can imagine. Swimming, sprinting, strength-training… you name it, I did it. In my formative years, these efforts were primarily aimed at increasing my performance in my tennis game, or later, in power-lifting and competition-based workouts. But as life moved on and these “end-goals” dropped off, I found I carried the same drive and mentality when approaching general fitness and health. If I didn’t feel to the point of collapse after a workout, or any type of physical activity, it was a waste of time. If I didn’t push myself so hard I felt my lungs would burst, I would be better off not doing anything. If I didn’t work out at least six times a week, I had failed that week in my health goals.

Of course, this level of physical exertion is unsustainable. Of course, I didn’t know that. And one fateful day, I injured myself in a workout and everything changed. At first, I didn’t think anything serious was wrong. I’d had injuries before and knew how to deal with them. So, I took it easy for a week, did some minor workouts for another week, then was back in full swing the week after–despite lingering pain.

But that pain never went away. I wasn’t in a position in my job or my life to admit to or deal with a serious injury, so I did what I always did: worked hard, and put the pain away. I did that for a long, long time. I learned, however unconsciously, to compensate around my injury, to avoid things that made it worse– until the pain so bad, so loud and terrible, that I couldn’t ignore it anymore. I finally went to see a doctor, and the therapies began. Every possible therapy and medication for chronic pain, I’ve tried. Every non-surgical procedure, I’ve had; every kind of pain-specialized doctor, I’ve been to. And none of it helped. In fact, these things only revealed the extent and depth of my injury, and other serious health issues that had also gone unnoticed before in my body.

And then I stepped onto a yoga mat.

I loved the physical practice at once, finding the asanas strengthening areas in my body I had never before considered. I learned to find flexibility and strength to support my injury, and relief from compensating around it for so long.

But practicing, at first, was still an extension of my old mindset. Each pose had to be done perfectly, and as challenging as possible–if I wasn’t tired and drenched in sweat by the end, my time had been wasted. I would snicker during chants of “Om,” tune out the instructors telling me to breathe, to find balance in my efforts; to seek internal and external harmony. What did they know, anyway?

Something kept drawing me back to the studio, more than just the physical asana and the respite from pain it provided. I began to soften in my listening around what my teachers had to say, beyond just calling poses and alignment cues. One particular phrase stuck with me: “Your mat is a mirror into your life.”

Was it?

Was my jaw-clenching practice a mirror of how I approached my life? Were my endless efforts, my fixation with failures and shortcomings on my mat a reflection of my who I was as a person?

I wrestled with these questions as I kept chipping away at the asanas, delving deeper into self-inquiry and the practice of mindfulness. I noticed some days that my practice was more difficult, drawn-out and painful; my mind unfocused and wondering when the class would be over. Coincidentally, these were also hectic days of high stress, either at work or in my personal life. With introspection and the ever-present mantra “mat as mirror” in my mind, I began to connect a pattern with how I handled stress– or rather, let stress handle me. I worked, (and am still working!), on finding peace and solace amidst difficult situations, picturing myself as a force against them and not them against me. Similarly, I try to picture myself as a force in my yoga practice when it becomes challenging, not the challenge controlling me.

Other personality traits, both negative and positive, became apparent as I tested this mantra “mat as mirror.” I already knew that I loved to work hard, but I found that I didn’t know where to let ease balance my efforts. My mat showed me that I didn’t know how to give myself a break, to show grace and love towards myself, and not push away pain or fatigue. It was (and still is!) an active reminder to myself as I practice, to let ease into my life and body when I need it, to cultivate “sthira sukha” as a lifestyle and philosophy.

Another notable example of “mat as mirror” was my self-talk throughout my practice, specifically as I held balance poses. I remember thinking, “you will fall, you will fall,” every time I came close to losing my balance; and, consequently, I would fall. I identified my self-talk in other life-situations was comparably negative or defeatist, whether about my ability in a task at work or in my relationships. I consciously began to change my inner dialogue around balance poses; instead thinking “you are strong and stable.” This shift in my daily practice on my mat is slowly transferring into my everyday life, and I have found myself more at ease and confident as a result.

The wonderful thing about this practice is that it gives us the chance to do all of this inquiry, self-examination and introspection–and to start anew each day. “Mat as mirror” has become integral to who I am as a person, as a practitioner, and now as a teacher– a daily reminder for myself and my students. We are complete beings–the same person, the same body in every situation; we cannot remove parts or dilute ourselves based on external factors.

Our mats, and our practice, hold power and potential beyond the mere physical postures. Are we pushing ourselves too hard, past simple discomfort into pain? Do we do that in other areas of our lives? Or are we not pushing ourselves hard enough, giving up when challenges arise? Is that likewise how we handle difficulties outside the studio?

My yoga mat has been a gateway to freedom, empowerment, and self-discovery. It is a mirror I hold to myself daily, not solely for deep, personal inquiry, but sometimes just for a mood check or a body scan–how I’m feeling or moving. My mat reveals truths about all parts of my life that are sometimes too shrouded or elusive; it reminds me to stay present and connected in my body. It has (and still is) working on me just as I work upon it, showing me who I am and reminding me that I am not fixed or immutable.

My mat is my mirror.

My mat changed my life.

On Living Your Best Life

August 21, 2019 by Martha Lopez

It’s funny as I sit here writing this I have in the background manifest affirmations playing and I am really contemplating my own life and am I truly living “my best life?”

I am currently working toward finishing off my first year in fitness! I have been teaching a variety of classes beyond yoga. These have ranged between mat pilates, myofascial release, cycle, and now cardio HIIT classes. I had to add additional certifications to teach these classes and even then I have not stopped growing! I am currently, along with my chemistry class, working on my certifications in personal training and corrective exercise. If you had told me a year ago this is what I would be doing before I started my YTT I would’ve laughed at you and said that would be crazy!

A year ago I was far from “living my best life,” I was a special education teacher in a private high school that specialized in working with severe social and emotional disabilities. I was doing something I liked, educating. However, despite my amazing group of coworkers, I was going home stressed and in tears every night. Sometimes I would barely make it to the car! I felt I was not making enough of an impact on my students and that as much as I wanted to help I wasn’t. This was the sign that I officially drove myself to total burnout. I was going on to finish my 4th year in education and had just dealt with the trauma of having my first miscarriage. Let’s just say it was the universe forcing myself to really reflect as to where I was going and what truly was going to make me happy.

Often times we want to settle for what is comfortable. We bite our tongue or try to shut our brains up thinking, “hey, I am ok with this. This will pay the bills and leave my family comfortable.” We stick with what is easy and what we have been doing because there’s a safe feeling that covers us like an old blanket.

It’s not only in just our minds but also when we talk to people in our surroundings as well. My parents for example pushed me to continue the school year. They told me going part time right now would be foolish and irresponsible despite how unhappy I was. It wasn’t until I called my mom in tears and explained everything in my job and what was going on where she finally agreed for me to put in my notice. We reach out to people in our support systems to either “talk sense” into us, or to reinforce what we are thinking. My family’s favorite statement to me was “you only speak to us about these things once you’ve made up your mind, why do you want us to fight your decision?” At which point I laughed, because in all reality this is what we do. We like bouncing things off of each other to hear every part of our choice because our brain can’t possibly do it all at once on its own. Despite making a decision already, because you never know…maybe they say something you haven’t thought yet. Sometimes your supports reinforce that blanket because they think that is the best way to make sure you are safe and supported. So they tuck you in further into your comfort blanket and you get settled in.

Here’s the best advice I can give, the life lesson I gained from all this:

Sometimes it’s when we let the blanket go that we really start to thrive!

I made the decision to try working part time as a special education teacher and was denied working the hours at the school so I gave a months noticed and signed up for another prerequisite so I could finally work towards my doctorates in physical therapy. This is something my mom had been pushing for because she knew I had wanted this since high school, but life happens and sometimes you go with a shorter path because you want to be that independent woman right away instead of grinding it out for what seems like eternity to then gain success.

In those 4 years of my “independent” life I was upset, stress, anxious, and overall unhappy. I did not feel I was living the life I was meant to. Though teaching had its happy moments it wasn’t over 60% of the time. This should’ve been the sign to go. When March rolled around I started working as a fitness instructor and dog walking part time to really focus on my studies. The concern that I wouldn’t be able to make it? Well guess what? I did well!

The fitness hustle is real, but I was enjoying teaching yoga and then mat pilates, and now cycle too. I began falling in love with what I did. I would find myself getting excited having discussions with friends about fitness. I would talk about the types of exercises and what they can do to aid with certain tight muscles, how the body moves and other life stuff. I for the first time ENJOYED talking bout the work and didn’t find myself complaining 100% of the time about how tough and hard my job was. I was even told it looks like I lost 20 lbs, even though it had only been a week away from teaching!

That’s when I knew I was on the right path. But how does this all apply to you? How can what has happened for me so far make any meaningful change in your life?

The start to living your best life is simple – ask yourself with everything you do:

Does this light me up?

Yes – do it!
No – toss it!
Eh? Maybe? – reflect and set it aside for some time. It’s like the love bird analogy, if you come back to it, it is meant to be!

This is the first part to slowly remove the choke hold the “comfort blanket” has over you. If you can categorize your life into these three categories you’ll start to find a pattern in the things that do light your fire and slowly start to go down that path.

Of course, there are always things we hate, like bills, that just need to be a part of life, but that doesn’t mean you cannot work in an area that lights your fire. I have slowly found that even working part time I am able to make ends meet because I am happy to work more hours teaching these fitness classes then when I was working an easier schedule teaching. I am happy to drive around and hustle the way I need to because it is something that lights my fire.

When you’re doing something you love, you don’t work a day in your life and that is true. This is the definition of living your best life.

QUICK OAT + BANANA SOFT COOKIES

August 14, 2019 by kayleenmesa

banana soft cookies with a dog in the background — *Photo by: Kayleen Mesa*
*Follow on Instagram: @dearpeachesandgrace*

So! So! So! Yummyy!!

One thing about me is that I’m all about MAXIMIZING time. I’m not much of a recipe creator. I Personally feel best just eating simple meals, but I know not everyone is the same so it always goes back to playing and exploring to find what works best for you. The biggest purpose of my content is to inspire you and encourage you to try new things!

These delicous and easy soft cookies are the perfect move for a quick breakfast or pre/post workout snack!

I LOVE oats, not only do they lower your cholesterol levels which in turn helps you prevent developing heart disease or diabetes, but they also energize you with good carbs and nutrients to keep you going for longer during the day.

Those nutrients include manganese, good for bone production and skin integrity as well as magnesium – important for energy production to make you feel more awake.

Same with bananas “the favourite fruit among athletes”not only because they contain a decent amount of good carbs but for being the big players in the potassium game.

Potassium is a very important nutrient for avoiding fatigue and muscle cramps. Pretty good if you’ve got a hard day ahead of you.

RECIPE

Serves: 7-8
Total Time: 30 min.

Ingredients:
• 3 mashed bananas
• 135g Oats
• 2 tsp pure vanilla extract
• 20g Grated coconut
• Tbsp of chia seeds
• Tbsp of organic cacao powder
• Cacao nibs to taste
• Pinch of salt

Instructions:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Line a baking pan with parchment paper and set aside.

2. In a small bowl mix mashes bananas and the rest of ingredients until evenly distributed.

3. Roll 2-3 TBS (depending on how large you like your cookies) of mix at a time into balls and place them evenly spaced on your prepared cookie sheets. (alternately, use a small cookie scoop to make your cookies)!

4. Bake in preheated oven for approximately 18-20 minutes. Take them out when they are just BARELY starting to turn brown.

5. Let them sit on the baking pan for 2 minutes before removing to cooling rack.

I hope you enjoy this fun and easy recipe!! I’d love to know what’s your favorite quick breakfast meal. Share with me on the comments below⇣

Healing Anxiety Through Mediation

August 11, 2019 by Brandon Jamil

For most of us, it’s common to wake up and immediately feel stressed out about the day ahead. Bogged down with endless to do lists, responsibilities, daily practicalities; anxiety begins to loom over us, and we can’t fathom taking a moment to ourselves to truly connect, and when we do, we’re faced with re-living our anxiousness.
Suddenly, we read an article, or watch a YouTube from one of our favorite influencers—that tells us the benefits of mediation. We’re told everything from sound peace of mind, stress management, healthier mental process, etc. But we’re not sold. If life could only be so…Simple. Even though we’re not convinced, we attempt at mediation. What harm could it cause? After all, five or ten minutes in the morning is harmless right?
Finally, we find ourselves listening to guided mediations, and breathing exercises by some of the top spiritualist, thought leaders. Slowly we can see the changes in our moods, attitudes. As time progresses, we’re thinking positive, enjoying the benefits of putting the dedication, and hard work we’ve committed to ourselves.
And then… Life happens.
Something that we weren’t expecting to happen, does. Our day becomes unmanageable, we’re struggling in some aspect of our life, and the anxiety resurfaces. The feelings of powerlessness meet’s us in our need to get everything done, but the problem is… We don’t know how to handle the emotions that we’re processing—which leads us to feel paralyzed. We then believe that perhaps we just need sleep, and we can start over the next day. Until we lay down and discover our anxiety is looming over us like a black cloud.
What happened? You may ask yourself. You thought anxiety was a thing in the past. You’d overcame it and can’t identify with that person who was always on edge, who was so shaking and fragile.

The truth is, it’s easy to feel despair, and lonely when confronting anxiety. We crave control and thrive on it. We return to our mediation practice day after day, hoping that we’ll find ever lasting peace of mind. Perhaps we’ll find our nirvana. But what if I told you that losing control, feelings of despair are a good thing? Yep, that’s right!

I have personally found that mediation is best used as a tool to enable self-exploration that promotes self-awareness, profound inner peace by leaning in and looking at the painful aspects of ourselves dead in the face. Furthermore, as we observe our discontentment and dis-ease, we realize that our psyche is inviting us to embrace these so-called negative aspects that we’d rather judge, flee and abandon.

When we choose to reject feelings of anxiety, despair, discontentment we approach our mediation practice with the intention of resistance. Resistance shows up as: “I must focus on the positive.” This is to say that we spend our mediation time avoiding our truth and become undone the moment our true feelings surface throughout our day. However, we must keep in mind that our mediation practice is ours and this is the space we create for ourselves to be as naked, vulnerable as we need to, and without apology.

By allowing ourselves to lean into our discomfort, we give ourselves permission to feel out of control. Anytime we give ourselves permission to heal by first acknowledging anxiety, we build self-trust and allow feelings to surface without harshly judging ourselves or our mental state.

The moment we can release the need to neglect any part of ourselves and build self-trust— we then find ways to work with what we’re feeling and thinking. As our day progresses and the stress factors show up, we can choose to go with those feelings. Our anxiety becomes our practice by checking in with ourselves and not taking on a victim mentality. The next time you’re in your meditation, simply allow whatever feelings that exist below the surface to arise. This can be feelings of joy, peace, contentment. Or it can be hostility, pain, suffering, resentment, anger, fear. Whatever feeling you experience allow it to come out of you, allow your breath to pull it to the light and dissolve. At first you may that you can’t quiet your mind, and the restless voice that is repeating in your head won’t stop. That voice in your head has a space in your mediation. Give it some love by allowing yourself to hear it out. You will find out that there’s no need to control your thoughts or attempt to make yourself feel anything. Your job is to show up for yourself, and as you address and explore your feelings—you’ll be able to work through it with a new story that frees you from it altogether.
It can be dangerous to force ourselves to paint positivity over our traumas and anxieties, because we don’t allow ourselves to build healthy self-esteem. While it’s true that positive thinking can in-fact change our entire life, and possibly assist in our healing—we can’t skip the steps to building our mental and emotional foundations. When you’re meditating and the same old stories and anxieties come to surface, it can cause us to feel that we’re not getting anywhere. Keep in mind that healing the emotional body and mental landscape is like physical exercise. We don’t get easy results at first—we must earn it. As we persist in our exercise, we slowly begin to witness changes in the body, and we desire to push our bodies to see further growth.
In mediation, we’re not pushing our emotions. We’re setting the stage to examine them, as we consistently do that; we become comfortable with leaning into our emotions. Feeling our emotions helps us deal with our triggers. Our triggers are the body’s reaction to external stimuli. Once we allow ourselves to confront these triggers in our mediation, the body starts its own healing process. The healing process naturally helps us deal with heavy emotional weight such as anxiety.
Healing anxiety through mediation can cause us to feel overwhelmed. There are days we feel extremely happy, and the next day we can feel highly sensitive. This emotional imbalance is a key indicator that our body is regulating itself. Needless-to-say, the body and the emotions are becoming congruent; which is a shock to the nervous system. Keep in mind that your immediate inclination will be to recoil. Instead of recoiling, show up for yourself. You’ll be reminded that you can land safely now that you’re building a healthy self esteem and foundation. So, I invite you to explore, fall and get back up. Do it again, and land.

Alas,
Breath by breath. You find your center.

How To Cleanse and Activate Your Crystals in 5 Steps

August 10, 2019 by kayleenmesa

book about crystal healing surrounded by crystals and a buddha vase on a blanket

Hi beautiful souls! with full moon coming up (August 15th) I wanted to share with you steps for cleansing and activating your crystals during this cycle.

Crystals have become very popular over the past couple of years. These beautiful and powerful stones hold the life-giving elements of the Earth and the universe. Harnessing the energy of the Sun, the Moon, and the oceans, they help to create a special connection between us and mother earth.

This is an ancient pagan practice, where a crystal is used to flush out the negative energy and obstacles from a human body. Laying on of stone involves placing crystals on or around the victim in order to remove vetoing energy.

For centuries, crystals and other gems have been desired for their alleged magical healing and mystical powers. This belief continues today among occultists and New Age healers.

Nowadays Crystals are used during holistic practices and alternative medicine such as massage, meditation, and acupuncture. They are put on or around your body to start the healing process. The crystals can act as a channel for healing which can help positive and healing energy flow into the body, causing negative energy to be drawn out. They are known to have been used for prevention of disease and curing of illnesses.

Another great use of healing crystals comes when creating sacred spaces, which will also helps to enhance and support any healing therapies such as meditation, yoga, journaling, and other similar activies. It’s common knowledge that interior design can affect your mood and well-being. The most important aspect of a sacred space is how the energy feels. Every room in your home should feel special and comfortable for your lifestyle and needs, a basic guideline for optimal living and well-being. In particular, your sacred space should serve as the place where you leave behind the chaos of the world, in addition to any negative energy that might be affecting you, and go inward to heal and restore the mind-body-spirit.

In this wonderful world of vibrations, crystal energy helps you on your spiritual journey because it works to hold your intention and remind you of your connection to the Earth. A well thought out intention is the starting point for healing crystals because specific intentions will most likely guide you into your daily thought patterns and will also become part of its energy.

If you’re just beginning to use crystals, a great way to harness their healing power is by using healing stones for manifesting your intentions and what you want to create in your life.

When choosing your crystals, let your intuition guide you to choose the right healing stones for your spiritual journey. Crystal experts often say that the crystal chooses you instead of the other way around. Take your time, have fun and see what crystals stand out to you. Whether it’s the dazzling colors, sparkles or otherworldly shapes and patterns that draw you in, each crystal has a unique vibrational energy that works to clear blockages and ward off negative energy. It also helps to identify a particular problem or challenge you’re currently facing.

Finding the right stone is like any practice of wellness. I also like to think of it as a creative and magical experiment. It requires time and patience while you quiet the mind and realign the mind/body balance. Hold the stone in your hand and carefully think of your intention. Notice if you feel sensations such as hot or cold, pulsations, or a sense of peace and tranquility. These are all signs that this particular rock is perfect for your healing needs. Remember- your intuition will be your best friend here!

CLEANSE & ACTIVATE YOUR CRYSTALS IN 5 STEPS

1. WASH THEM WELL.
A simple rinse under the faucet will do here. If you live near the ocean or a stream it’s ideal to wash them there.

2. SET YOUR CRYSTALS OUT.
The ideal time to put them out is just after sunset. A natural surface is best outside. If that isn’t an option put them near a window where they will get direct moonlight. As you set each one down name something you want to let go of. You can name the same thing over and over or pick a different one with each crystal. Don’t name more than 5, it’s too many and will start to lower our vibration. This is a supportive practice that helps to seal in what we are ready to release with this full moon.

3. PULL THEM IN THE NEXT MORNING
It’s nice to give them a little reboot with the sun’s energy, but not for too long. Through sunrise is a great rule of thumb.

4. CHARGE YOUR CRYSTALS WITH INTENTIONS
This is one of my favorite parts of the ritual, it’s even more important than naming what we want to release. Once you have all of your crystals back inside charge them with your intentions. Charging crystals with your energy helps them stay focused. Once they are charged it’s best to not let others handle them (unless you are charging specifically for others or client work) as they will absorb the energy of other people.

You can charge all of your crystals at once by imagining them soaked in healing energy. They can also be charged individually or in groups. It’s really up to you, there is no right or wrong way to charge them, let your intuition be your guide.

Here are some examples of what I am planning for this cycle:

Charging Rose Quartz with love to support my relationship.
The stones I use with clients will be charged to intensify their healing properties.
Smokey Quartz with energy to help me stay grounded during the transition into a new season.

5. CLOSE THE RITUAL
I like to close the cleansing and charging ritual with thank you prayers and white candle. A simple thank you to Mother Earth for the ways she supports our life and a humble bow to the crystals for all of the work that they do. Acknowledging all of the elements that came together to make these healing tools seals in their healing vibrations and reminds us to stay focused on what matters most to our hearts. After giving thanks I burning a little cedar, sage or palo santo to bring in more positive energy and close the ritual.

Allow yourself to be open to exploration. Step into the knowing that magic exists for you no matter what. Our thoughts create vibrations throughout the universe, which makes setting intentions a powerful tool for achieving happiness and well-being. Having a clear purpose provides us with insight into our aspirations, dreams, beliefs and values. It also helps us to focus and live in the present moment instead of being caught in negative thought patterns. Intentions are like magnets. That’s why it’s important to be careful and make sure to choose the appropriate thoughts and desires. Setting an intention is a powerful tool for achieving happiness. Crafting an intention starts by setting goals that align with your values, aspirations, and purpose.

May all your wishes come true!

Footnotes:
https://crystalbenefits.com/crystal-uses
https://www.energymuse.com/
https://crystabelles.bigcartel.com/

A day, a Week, and a Month – Life of the Fitness Instructor

August 9, 2019 by Martha Lopez

Going on a year in the fitness industry I definitely have mixed reviews from other instructors and my previous impressions of what working in the industry would entail. I guess this is my way of giving the – so you’re certified in group fitness, now what? explanation by providing you with a day, week, and month in the life.

I find it is always best to start at the beginning and my journey started with finishing my 200 hr YTT in August of 2018 and trying to apply for a part time job to supplement my teaching schedule. I applied to numbers of jobs and there were some jobs where I applied knowing I wouldn’t get the position because they wanted 1-2 years of experience. This is when I realized fitness, like some industries has that, chicken or the egg, type experience where you may need to start working there as a desk attendant or just a sub with not set hours before you can build into having a more set schedule. Before giving up I received my first job from a boutique studio that was just starting a yoga program. And I lucked out that they would take a chance on me.

Before going into fitness as a career the week was like – teach 8 hours M-F, volunteer teaching yoga to the fellow teachers two times after school, go home, complete IEPs and grades, then on Saturdays teach 2 yoga classes to try and make some extra money. And for those who are looking for fitness as a supplement this may just be your week! Most people choose to keep their full time and teach maybe an evening class or two, maybe classes on the weekends to force themselves to get a workout in because who can do that with a busy schedule, AND you get paid to do so.

Now, I have transitioned in working in fitness and I can dissect a little more just what the day/ week/ month is like.

Day – Week Day (BTW this is a somewhat template. Other days there are more subbing than showed, or less classes and more free time. The schedule changes depending on what hours the gyms you work at have available. And yes, gyms, because unless you find the unicorn of gyms you will have to travel between 2/3 if you are making this more of your job)

Alarm goes off – 7:00 am (4:00 am for those that choose the 5 am/6 am classes, not me, YET!)

Sometimes you’re up even earlier! This is the time to work on your personal practice or work on some moves for the days classes!

7:15 – out of bed, form my to do list. I use the app – Daily To-do List because it crosses thing out for me so I can make sure I get stuff done. I have 3 lists made M/W/F, T/Th, Weekend, and Daily because I try my best to not make EVERYTHING a daily task.

7:30 – in the car – driving and playing my mindfulness practice using the meditation app – Happy Not Perfect. Once that is done its on to Spotify (by the way a Premium purchase, ~$10 a month, will be the best bet for making playlists) to try and find good new songs that I throw into a playlist labeled either: yoga, mat pilates, yin, or cycle, to later review for the following week’s classes.

8:00 – 30 min before my first class get a strength or cardio workout in so you have a moment to get yourself worked in. I know I had mentioned about getting paid to workout. This is not entirely the truth. In class you should be focused on your class. So giving these 15 min to get that sweat in for you either before or after is always good. Depending on how much time I have between classes I may even try to swim to bring back the old feeling of the pool. I swam competitively for 10 years.

8:15 – Set up the class. You should arrive 15-20 min early to every class because it gives you time to say hi, get to know your clients and make the connections you need. It also allows you to have any props or equipment set for your clients so there isn’t time used getting everything.

8:30 – class start

9:45 – subbing second class or personal workout time along with coffee or protein shake to keep going

11:00 – subbing third class – if not subbing it’s a one hour break to either workout or get lunch.

Starbucks studying chemistry, personal training, and trying to get some mindfulness reading during a free hour

12-4 walking dogs, class prepping, positing on social media about your schedule and future classes, applying for other fitness instructor jobs (because the schedule is never full), instacart work, or part time retail. This is where I explain that in fitness there is for the most part this huge gap between classes. You will work opposite the 9-5 because everyone is at work during the middle of the day. You may an the off chance get a noon class for those who try to get their fitness in during their lunch break, but it’s seldom. This being said this time block is where odd jobs come in. I personally do the shopping, dog walking, and tutor to fill the time. Right now this is filled with my summer class.

4:15 – prep for class

4:30 – class

5:30 – prep for class, chat with clients on some soreness that they have and what poses can be used to stretch the muscles, and foam rolling techniques to allow for

5:45 – class

6:45 – class

7:15 – class

8:00 – driving home ~30-40 min depending on the day

9:00 – dinner if hungry, and studying, class prep, chores, and setting up for the next day.

Rinse, lather, repeat

Day – Weekend (again somewhat of a template based on real life)

8:00 – alarm (I don’t have super early Saturday or Sunday classes…YET)

9:15 – prep for class.

9:30 – class

10:35 – class

11:35 – reach out to friends about brunch, if not go home. Study, class prep, post to social media about the upcoming week, provide some fitness information to clients to aid with frequent issues that you saw arise during the week.

Rinse, lather, repeat

I choose not to work 7 days a week. No one should, and this is where before I give a week and a month info explain this. In fitness part of the job has really taught me how to have the strength to say no. Often times you will get texts, hourly, if not daily about needing subs for fitness classes. Also people will ask if you work on weekends and if you’re will to work one or both days. It is important for you to take care of yourself, not just for you, but now in fitness you are a model of what people see for good health. You want to set the best example.

A week in the life – with the dissection of the weekday and the weekend day I feel this covers it with the rinse, lather, repeat, because this is how it will get to feel once you are more accustomed with having the ability to make your own schedule and set your routine. I will let you know that there is an adjustment period to this. You get so used to school and more traditional jobs which are 9-5 and your done. This is not the case with fitness. You will find yourself with super early or late dinners, asking people if they can meet for lunch or on weekends (if that day is free for you) and napping. My week is usually filled with trying to make sure I have my schedule set and written down in 3 different places because there’s 3/4/5 different places I am going to in one day. I live a bit out of my car with a change of non-fitness clothes, protein bars, yoga props, 3 different pairs of shoes, and shower stuff. Be prepared – girl and boy scouts are right about this one!

A month – by the end of the month, I will honestly say you have felt accomplished looking back at your schedule. I try to take either the end of a month or the beginning of the month to look back and really finalize what I could have done better, what I need to fix, what classes are and are not working for my schedule and trying to see if I am working at the right places as I get more and more in tune with the drive time (and there will be a lot!) and distance between places.

Going on to a year in fitness – wrapping up.

Ok, this was a lot to digest and process. I will say going on a year of doing this, your first year will be rocky, and bumpy. You may ask yourself why you are doing this type of schedule and why you are working mini part time jobs to make ends meet. But looking back, I am so much happier from when I was teaching. I have the ability to make my own schedule and do things I never thought I would have time to do!

Take away tips:

Give yourself ample time to drive between gyms. You think 20 min may be enough for a 15 min drive. 99.99% of the time it won’t be. Double it!
Take a day off – I mean it! A full day!
Don’t underestimate contract work – this could be dog walking, grocery shopping, blog post writing, aiding with social media at the yoga studio you work at. This will help pad the hours and pad your wallet as well.
Don’t stop learning – find your modality and stick to it, but if you notice there is an area you’re interested in or another class you would like to teach, learn how to teach it! Gyms love people with multiple certs, because you become their go to person when they need help, and if they decide to add classes you then become the person they ask to add to the schedule
Say no when you want to – this is important. The first 2 months of my fitness journey was Yes, Yes, and YES! This led to a really quick and very painful burnout that I needed an immediate vacation to recover. Don’t do this. Know your limits and set them a little before that boundary so you’re kept in a healthy safe position for work.

How To Use Social Media as a Fitness Professional

July 24, 2019 by Martha Lopez

One thing that many people in the fitness industry need to focus on is really creating their own brand and personality that separates them from all the other fitness professionals in the industry. This really starts with creating a presence where your future clients are, and that’s online. I have worked with some small businesses and have been working on building my own brand as a yoga instructor and here are some tips and tricks I found from both my education in Public Relations and just going through all the trial and error of trying to build my own presence online.

The biggest thing is CONTENT: All other workshops and groups will stress this day in and day out! Content and giving your audience something they can use will not only show how credible you are as a source, but also give future clients an insight to how you work as a professional.
- It’s OK to repost! If you follow someone with similar content feel free to repost that content, be sure to provide the source! This will generate people to your site or platform where you have like minded content.
- Speak to your specific audience! If you have a specific population your are looking to access – talk to them! That’s what social media is about! Use words like Ladies! Guys! Fellow Grads! Etc. to show who your audience is and access them on a more intimate level.
Consistency/Frequency: When thinking about content make a calendar and be specific about your posting schedule: For example, I use for posting that every other day I am using quotes to emphasize my blog topic or podcast topic to keep reinforcing my audience to go back to the podcast or blog post to drive people to continue to view my site and maybe collect people I may have missed on the weekend! This also gives some uniformity to my sites because visually there are positive messages between images of yoga poses, nutrition, etc.
- More on the posting schedule: You do NOT need to post every day! (woah, did I just say that?) There are a lot of analytics out there that say even 1x a day (depending on the platform is enough) Your audience doesn’t need to know the 3 meals and 2 workouts you did each and every day, nor do they really want to! If one day you are focusing on nutrition, post one great meal and give a recipe! If it’s a leg workout, maybe doing a quick video with modifications and going live to show key portions of your workout will be enough to show quality content without just force feeding. No one likes the person who lives on their social media and shows everything!
- The key to a great platform is trying to be consistent – your followers will know you for your content and know what to expect each day and will look forward to those nuggets of wisdom only you can offer!
- Personal tip: I set on my to do list a posting schedule and try to set alarms catered to the schedule based on when I know my followers will be on. I do this without using an organized platform like Hootsuite, but you can definitely look into these automated posting websites that will help relieve some of the hassle of trying to make your posts on a deadline!
Make your profiles “business” profiles: this mostly is catered to Instagram, but this allows you to look up analytics to see who you are accessing, how many people you are accessing, and even location. These insights allow you to really hone in to who you are reaching out and maybe seeing what areas you need to focus on.
- age group: try to keep content within the age group of your niche and do some look as to what content that age group wants.
- location: use the location tab and incorporate location of your business to get people looking at local businesses to find you!

Screenshot of my insights from Instagram

Hashtags: USE them! You are allowed to use 30 hashtags per post, I recommend using them as a comment after the post so it’s not in the forefront of what your audience sees, but use them to drag people to your content.
- I personally like: All Hashtag they generate for you the top 30 hashtags based on the word you use and you are able to just copy paste into a comment! You’re also able to see analytics as to how well certain hashtags are doing if you want to get super techy with your marketing!
Know how your audience functions and when they are looking for you!: Look up peak times that people view certain posts on social media. Also what platforms are they on?
- Don’t waste your time!: This is the time to really find your audience and post during those times where you know people are searching for that content. Typically this is around lunch or after work in the evening. If you are posting at 6 am and there’s no one watching, what good will that do? Here’s a great review of times for social media on SocialSprout!
- Pick a/a few platforms: you don’t need to be on ALL the platforms, and all the time! If you know your audience research where to bring your focus on. Also have a feel for different types of platforms. If your jam is on Facebook and creating Facebook content focus on that and maybe start to play with another social media platform that is more evident for your age group.
  - 22+ : Facebook still highly ranked with Instagram coming in close second. If you have a high visual content you may want to play with both but bring your focus to Insta. Pinterest is also emphasized for clients over 50 because it allows them for more searchable content.
  - <22: Snapchat is growing and Facebook users are steadily declining. Recommend access through more visual social media platforms due to need for high quality visual content with this age group.
  - Source: Business Insider
Be SOCIAL: Don’t just respond with emojis, actually respond to people, reach out to similar profiles and businesses and connect.
- Follow like businesses and profiles: When I mentioned this to a small business there was a lot of hesitation, and I get it, why would you like and share content so similar to you, wouldn’t people go shop or take their business there? There is power in creating a network of like-minded business people. You support each other! Sharing each other’s content creates a broader outreach which means more clients to all! It also gives you insights as to what is working within your niche or field and what is not. This helps you for content creation as well!
- My personal rule of thumb: as you are scrolling through content, which we all do almost every min of the day, like but also comment on one post (be sincere and add more than an emoji!). Who knows, you may spark a convo which brings people to your profile for more?!
Set a call to action!: People want to be involved with social media, so why not involve them? Ask them what areas they want to focus on when it comes to working out, ask what your peak yoga pose should be in the class. Ask questions and engage with people will also allow you to show your personality and get people to trust and want to work with you.
- Personal Tip: I try once every two weeks to incorporate those yoga students who follow me in their classes by asking which peak pose they want. I put the question as either a choice between 2 or 4 different poses. Or, I will ask between two areas of focus (i.e hip openers vs inversions). This allows you to create a personal relationship with your audience and when they see you in class it shows you are actively listening and engaging with them. It’s a nice special touch.

I hope these tips help! Use these steps to get started on making a more uniformed and professional looking profile that will allow you to grow your personal business/fitness personality!

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CLEANSE & ACTIVATE YOUR CRYSTALS IN 5 STEPS

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