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Meditation

How to Start Meditating during COVID-19 Lock Down

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Lock down – also known as the best time to start meditating. The induced anxiety of not knowing how this will turn out, how this will affect you, if your job is stable and and and – the thoughts and fears induced by this new situation don’t even being to cover the amount of anxiety we have toward the fear of the virus itself. Its hard to cope, and some of us find ourselves not being able to stop talking about it. You may know it by now, or if not, the best way to calm your mind is through meditation.

The idea of meditation is to focus your mind on either a particular thing like the breath, on a particular thought – like loving & kindness. Which does mean, not focusing on any Covid-19 thoughts. This may seem hard and might require some energy, but its a first and healthy step in the right direction. All your thoughts on this topic won’t get you anywhere but digging yourself more and more into your own anxiety. You need to be forced to step out. Here is a simple and easy way to do it, and a great introduction into a meditation:

Sit, stand, walk, whichever is most comfortable but make sure you are alone in your space.

Count each breath in, count each breath out. Do it till you get to 10. If you feel you need more, do it again.

That’s it! You have just meditated! If you lose count, that is ok, just start again and make sure you get to 10.

It’s easier than riding a bike and will benefit your mental health and your happiness. Aim to do it once a day. I usually do it while brushing my teeth or while waiting for my work computer to start up. But if you can’t, just doing it once is already more than never.

If you get bored of doing this, the next level up you can start to focus on where you feel the breath the most. You will notice this changes, sometimes it will be your nose, other times your stomach, other times your guts. The short check in with your body will move your focus away from being stuck in your head, to settle your focus in your body. It not only helps you, but you will notice how much easier it is to deal with matters and the people around you. You will be happier, just by counting your breaths. I dare you to try it.

man wearing sunglasses meditating in front of a city skyline

More of such tips & posts are on my site lifecoachnika.com

The Importance of Meditation in These Trying Times

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It’s a scary time to be alive right now, as the coronavirus continues to spread across the globe. With bad news coming in almost on a regular basis (and with no way to release that frustration due to social distancing), it’s easy to let the stress and anxiety compound. This makes meditation all the more crucial in these trying times, particularly as a way to take care of your mental health and help you survive what is shaping up to be the new normal for the foreseeable future. 

Helping yourself to help others

While it’s important to be kind to one another and look out for our neighbors as much as possible, it’s equally important to extend that kindness to ourselves.

Meditation may seem like a small act in the face of everything else that’s going on, but taking care of yourself in this way can also provide you with a community of people who are also trying their best to keep calm amidst the chaos. This is why pop star Lizzo streamed a live meditation on Instagram a few days ago in lieu of her cancelled show. Her meditation session focused on helping people clear their minds in order to see the ways that they can help — “the one thing we will always have is togetherness,” she reminded her viewers. 

Indeed, clearing your mind through meditation is crucial to help you sift through all the noise and see how you can incite positive change into your community. At the very least, it’s a lot better than refreshing your phone every other minute or so out of fear. 

Making your practice sustainable

Since the madness won’t come to an end any time soon, it’s important to really make an effort to incorporate meditation as part of your daily routine. Our post entitled ‘4 Misconceptions About Meditation’ emphasizes that you can move around, sit comfortably, and even grab a drink of water while you meditate — what’s important is that you really focus on taking that time out for yourself. 

 If you’re someone who prefers to sweat it out when you’re stressed, meditation should be a very important part of recovery. While many people will turn to exercise as a way to de-stress, Parsley Health suggests that to beat brain fog exercise should also be accompanied with active tune-ins to provide your body that much-needed balance. Overworking your body may end up making you even more frazzled and exhausted in the long run. It’s especially important to listen to your body and give it the TLC it needs.

It’s also good to know that your body can benefit from a meditation break faster than you realize. As more and more people are looking to adopt remote work, business coach Shannon Houde highlights that sometimes having a three-minute reset is all you need to power through the rest of your day. 

As mentioned at the beginning of the article, stressing yourself out and panicking won’t do you and your community any favors. The chaos all around us is something we have to take as a given; the question is, how will we deal with it? While we’re all figuring out how to adjust to what might be the new normal (at least for now), meditation can help give you that clear headspace that you sorely need. 

woman meditating with eyes closed and hand over heart

Three ways to be more mindful during the day

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Most of us are running around every day – some even literally. One of the hardest parts of being mindful is not that just our mind is full of thoughts, racing up and down a mental to do list, bringing up worries (that most of the time we don’t know where they came from) and sometimes really random thoughts (so random we don’t know what to do with them). But also life seems to be getting more and more hectic. Not just internal thoughts and feelings can get too much, but also external triggers. Work, phone, email, cars – the pace gets faster and faster and we are expected to change along with it. Finding time to meditate even once a day is a real achievement.

The faster everything is around us and inside of us, the better it is for us to be more mindful so we can see and hear through all the noise and actually get clarity on what’s really important. So how do we do that without it being just another task on our to-do list? How do we become mindful without it even becoming too much?

Here are three tips I have to slip in some mindfulness during the day:

  1. Washing Your Hands

It’s generally something you should do a couple of times a day so might as well use the occasion to be a little mindful. For example – and easy way is just to ask yourself: How does the water feel? Or you can walk yourself through the process – talk about each thing you are doing. For example “Now I turn on the tap – the water feels cool – my hands are wet, it feels nice”. The goal is just to spend a moment in the moment. It will stop your mind from racing, force you to take a break from all the running thoughts. It will calm the mind even for just a second.

  1. Waiting for Transport

If you are a public commuter – there is bound to be a time where you will wait. If it’s to cross the road, or waiting for the bus, while you wait stop and ask yourself “How am I?”. And then ask yourself: “But really, how am I?”. Get to the core – don’t stop at “fine” or “good”, force yourself to actually say a full sentence. “I am good because I slept well” or “I feel fine but I seem a little anxious”. You don’t have to explain why you feel a certain way. The goal is to touch base with your feelings. Even if you aren’t a public commuter – I bet there are times where you wait for the elevator, or people to enter in the building before you, any chance you notice yourself reaching for your phone – just check in. It will literally take you a bare millisecond and cost you nothing. The gains though, are getting in touch with your current state so you can function better.

  1. While Walking

At least once a day, when walking to the fridge or walking to the bathroom, you will find yourself in some sort of motion. Tell yourself every time you find yourself going somewhere, to count your breaths in and out till you get to 6. If you want, take it to 8 or 10. Whichever works best for you. Take a deep breath in count 1, take a breath out count 2, and so on. You’ll notice yourself become more conscious of your breathing but also instantly become more calm. Side effect may be your shoulders dropping, and tension leaving your body. It’s a simple trick to get an aligned mind and body.

You don’t have to do the items in that combination. You can ask yourself how are you while washing your hands, or be more mindful of what it is like to sip a cup of coffee. Goal is to find what works for you, so these strategies become a part of your unique routine. It should come easy. Do what you can and it doesn’t have to be every day or every time you do it. Just once is better than never. The bare minimum is already a huge step in the right direction.

For more tips – follow my blog nikafiguringitout.wordpress.com

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woman walking in green countryside

Guided meditation: The Safe House

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Everyone wants to have a sense that they can be safe. Secure. Protected. They want a place where they can unwind and completely relax. Exhale the day away. At times though, the events of the day, the hustle, the bustle, the conflict, the fortitude, the commute, can rob us of our joy, our sense of safety in the present moment. We have all been affected somehow by current events. The number one thing we take for granted, rely on, our health, is threatened in some way, and as a result we must compromise everything- our connection to each other, our community, even our routines. Today, Monday morning, March 16, 2020, you could not rely on that traffic to the office. Or the appointments you made last week. For most of us, that didn’t happen, and we got, what we claim we always wanted-to stay home. 

Since staying home does not feel like a reward but a grounding, a punishment almost. We are not allowed to do our jobs the way we are accustomed to doing them. This is new. Unprecedented. What is wonderful about the mind is that the imagination resides within it. A child with a vivid imagination is able to dream themselves out of stressful situations. It is why the children are the strongest of us all. There is no limit to it. When we use it, it opens the door to not only increased awareness to what, we, ourselves like to dream but the enjoyment of the moment that you are completely or presently in. It is now, always. Now. So, now, I would like to invite you all to imagine you are standing on top of a mountain. Look up at the sky. What time of day is it? What do you see? What are the shape of the clouds, if there are any? And anything else you can think of. Now slowly lower your chin and look straight ahead of you? Where are you? The forest, the desert? By the sea? Take in the sight before you. When you look further down you notice a path winding down your mountain. Take a step and begin to follow it. Take in everything you hear as you step one foot in front of the other. Can you hear any animals, birds? Insects? A little farther up ahead you see a small animal walking down the path. There is something about it that attracts your attention. Your chief desire is to follow it. 

forest by a hill with snow

The path winds deeper down the side of the mountain. You put a little pep in your step to keep up with the tiny creature shuffling in front of you. No matter where you are, the surrounding area begins to change, feeling more familiar. Scents you remember from when you were young creep up into your nostrils. Or a voice, in the distance, of someone you love. You’ve been mindlessly following the animal up until now and then you realize it is bringing you to a house nearby. In a few steps it begins to come into view. Pause and take in the view before you. What does it look like? What is it made out of? Is it well kept? Take a few steps closer. Reach into your pocket and pull out a key. Twirl it around in your hands for a moment. What is the design of the key? What metal is it made from? Is it on a chain or tether of some kind? Look toward the house again and walk up to the front door. How to you feel? This is your house. Use your key to open the door. 

No one knows about this place but you. This house has been waiting for you to let a little light in. You are safe here. Everything you see you have put there, with your imagination. Fancy that? What do you see? Take a few moments to notice what the room you are in looks like. Go over and sit down somewhere, if there is a place to sit. Look around. Pick a comfortable spot to relax. Your favorite section of the room. The light is perfect. Take a few moments to notice your breath. The room is just as you like it to be. You are in complete and total comfort. Breathe in. And out. One more time, in, and out. 

You hear a small rustling somewhere in the room and remember the tiny creature who led you to your humble abode. It is eager and wants to be near you. Look next to you to find it has been there with you the entire time. It begs to be picked up. Since it is so adorable you have no problem doing this, and with joy you gently hug it to your heart. It lets out an exclamation of glee. You notice in its eyes that it wants to tell you something. It gently whispers in your ear. Take a moment to really listen with your heart to what your teeny friend is trying to tell you. What does it say? After you’ve heard it the animal jumps off of your lap and scurries toward the door. You take this as a sign that it is time to leave. Gently rise from our seat and begin to walk towards the door. How do you feel? What, again, did you just hear the animal whisper to you? As you take in the sight of your safe house, open the door, and know you may return whenever you please, when you are alone, in your time of need. Look back out the front door, step out and close the door behind you. 

See the path back up the mountain in front of you, as inviting now as it was the first time you saw it, for now you have memories to bring back with you. The animal is eager to make the journey with you. You follow it the way you came. Take in your surroundings once again. How much time has passed, if any? How does the sky seem to you now? What is the temperature where you are? Are there many trees or wide open spaces? As you walk back up the mountain with the greatest of ease, you notice that, somehow you have lost track of your animal, but that’s alright, you remember where you are going and each step seems lighter than the last. You make it to the top effortlessly. Take another look around at the landscape before you, opening your arms wide, feeling the energy of the place, the lightness, the power of it. Notice the breeze, the smells and sounds. Notice any sensations in the body or any thoughts racing through the mind. This is a magical place. It is yours, and it is of you and with you at all times, ready to be visited whenever you need to feel safe, and home.

snow covered ground and sunlight
river running by forest and hill

7 Benefits of Meditation During Pregnancy

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Pregnancy can be an anxious time for parents-to-be, especially for first timers. Even if you already have children, a new baby adds on loads of work. Worry, stress, and mood swings are all common and normal, but wouldn’t you want to relieve some of this anxiety? One important aspect for a smooth pregnancy is the ability to let go and release, in both a physical and mental sense. Remaining confident in your body and allowing fear to dissipate also calls for a more desired labor process. Meditation can help starting day one of your pregnancy and if you are a regular practitioner before that, then good for you! Even if you are near term or post-partum, it will only assist in whatever situation you may be experiencing. Listed below are some the benefits you will reap from taking some quiet time for your body, mind and growing child.

meditation while pregnant

1. Release fear, anxiety and stress

Even if you aren’t pregnant, this is a good reason to meditate. Over time, a consistent meditation practice helps quiet the mind and reduce stress. These pent-up emotions are known to prolong labor which in turn will affect your mood and stamina during delivery. It’s perfectly normal to feel scared and burdened, but it doesn’t hurt to lower the levels of these feelings. The more empowered and confident you feel in your body and mind, the better you will be able to navigate during the labor process in every aspect.

2. Connect to your baby in your changing body

There is literally another person growing inside of you. This applies major changes to your body, but this is also an important time to begin cultivating a bond between you and the magic inside of you. In my opinion, one of the most interesting things during pregnancy is the idea that there is another being with chakras inside of you, meaning you are carrying two sets of chakras. Meditating during this time helps you with aligning to yourself and your growing fetus. Right now, you are one with your child, and the time will come when s/he arrives in a physical form. Taking the time to connect with your baby while s/he is in the womb only calls for a greater connection on the physical plane.

3. Take moments for self-care

Savor this time for yourself now before your bundle of joy arrives. Of course, you will enjoy your child once s/he is out of the womb, but it can be a little more difficult to fit self-care routines and moments of solitude into your schedule.  Most of your time will soon be spent tending to baby as opposed to caring for yourself. While you have this opportunity, meditate to some soothing music or in a quiet space. Soon, your meditations will be accompanied by the background noises of baby cries.

4. Sleep better

Between the physical discomfort and mental struggle, it’s challenging to find adequate rest. Meditating will allow for a better sleep and over time may help with the constant thoughts that keep you up at night. When you take the time to practice quieting the mind, over time this act becomes easier and easier to achieve. The goal is not to entirely dissipate these thoughts, but rather to observe and notice. Eventually you will feel more at ease with whatever is going through your head, thus inducing more relaxation.

5. Help prepare for labor in a positive manner

Labor is not only a physical endurance, but a lot of it is mental. The ability to let go and release plays a huge role in the delivery process. Affirmations are also very helpful in your meditation practice and can be used as tools during the delivery process. When you feel during the contractions there is too much sensation and it seems unbearable, circling back to your deep, intuitive state and repeating affirmations to yourself will allow you to remember that the labor process is temporary and you are fully capable of birthing your child in the way you desire. Some examples of affirmations include, “My body is strong. My body is healthy. I can birth my baby.” It’s always empowering to create your own personal affirmations as well.

6. Lower the risk of postpartum depression

When you have more of a sense of control over your thoughts, this skill tends to translate into everything else you are doing (including childbirth). Although it may be tough at first to meditate, with a consistent practice you will begin seeing results sooner than later. You will realize you are in control of your thoughts and feelings and you have full power in how you deliver and raise your child. Some things are beyond our control, but for the most part how we react plays a big part in the outcome as well. Meditation is a way to come back to center if you may start feeling thoughts of depression and sadness during any point. It is a tool we may use to self-reflect and gain wisdom from our everyday lives.

7. Develop sustainable healthy habits to increase longevity

Like a cascade effect, incorporating one healthy habit leads to another. Meditating does not cost (unless you join a group session at a studio or center where you may need to pay) and doesn’t take much effort. It may seem very difficult at first but understand that this is a process of turning inward and learning more about yourself. No need to take it too seriously and allow yourself to enjoy the process. You’ll find that a clearer mind will encourage you to be more positive in thought and action.

Now that you are aware of some of the benefits of meditating, you may be thinking where do you start? Find an area in your space that is clear of clutter, and preferably quiet. Wear loose comfortable clothing. Sit comfortably on your sitting bones on the floor, or if you are in a chair make sure your feet lie flat on the floor. Maintain a tall spine, allowing your shoulders to relax away from your ears and in line with your hips. Close your eyes and begin to observe your breath. This is a good starting point and can be continued for a minute or two, even up to twenty. There are many different types of meditations so take some time to research and explore. Sit in your own personal space, join a group, download a meditation app or open a guided practice on YouTube. You’ll thank yourself, and your baby will too.

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Mindfulness Outside of Meditation

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Although I meditate every morning – I often struggle to integrate mindfulness in my every day life. I set aside 15 minutes every morning to meditate and although that is already a good stride in the right direction, the mindfulness remains enclosed in those 15 minutes. 5 minutes later, although I am in a better mood usually, I have lost all the momentum of being present in the moment and am already swarmed by daily stresses such as  my task list and plans for the day. How do we manage to keep the mindfulness going in the day? How do we make it a part of our lives rather than another item we just get done at a certain point of time in the day? Here are some helpful tips I have found:

dock on lack at sunrise with forest in background

When ever I am waiting somewhere, I take six conscious breaths. We tend to wait more than we would actually like to admit, for the elevator, for people to get into the bus before us, any situation you find yourself with nothing to do, fill it with mindful breaths. Count each breath as you breathe in count one, breathe out count two. It keeps your mind preoccupied on counting. Count till you get to six. Boom, you did it, you were mindful. If you still have time and space, do another round.

Many people find meditating in the shower very helpful. Usually the shower is a place where thoughts can roam freely, perhaps too freely and make it therefore hard to be in the moment. It is a good place though to take a second to just consider how the water feels on your skin, on your head, on your feet. Just asking yourself: How does it feel to be in this shower? makes you more aware of your state. Perhaps when you ask yourself that question, you will find yourself not only relax more, but enjoy the shower just a little more. Rather than a task, it becomes another place of harmony.

This one is probably my favorite. I’m usually stressing from one place to the other listening to music, this one is easily integrated into my everyday habits. When you walk, consider for a second how your feet are touching the ground. For me its just repeating in my head: Heel, roll, ball, toes. Just thinking for a second of how my feet touch the ground makes me feel more grounded and in the moment for a second, I let my mind drift away as far as it wants after that.

Its just about taking one moment out of the day to touch base with the actual present. We’re often so lost in our minds, we are always somewhere else rather than where we actually are. Find a way it works for you and feel free to share your tips by commenting below!

Find our more on nikafiguringitout.wordpress.com for more tips for every day life

4 Signs of Distraction During Meditation

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It can be difficult to stay focused during meditation. Sometimes your mind wanders through overthinking, and your concentration can be disturbed. 

It is important to know when you are becoming distracted; that way you can bring your focus back to the meditation and acknowledge the distraction. Knowing what distracts you helps you get to know yourself. Everything has a cause and effect, as the sixth hermetic principle states. This means that each cause has an effect and each effect has a cause; a law of the universe. 

Every cause produces an effect.

A mental disturbance in meditation is not exempt from this law. A mere distraction in the mind can have multiple causes, and cause various effects. We live in this infinite change of cause and effect; all events which take place are held together by the thread of this law. We must observe the effects of something to lead us back to its cause. If we see that our friend is crying, we know that they are experiencing it because of pain. The crying is an effect which leads us closer to the cause. 

Similarly, when we observe the effects of our distraction during meditation, we are able to acknowledge the cause. The Buddha’s first noble truth to alleviating suffering is to acknowledge suffering. Before we can take any steps to heal, we must first acknowledge the problem. 

Meditation gives us the open space to do just that, through observation. 

In The Yoga Sutras, Patanjali shared four accompaniments to the mental distractions we experience during meditation to help us be more aware of when it happens. These accompaniments to distraction are: 

  1. Distress
  2. Despair
  3. Trembling of the Body
  4. Disturbed Breathing

Each one of these effects has its cause. Distress can be caused by a lack of sleep, overthinking, excessive worrying, poor diet, or fear of the future. Despair can be caused by dwelling in sorrow, ungratefulness, poor relationships, regret, fear, or self-doubt. Trembling of the body can be caused by anxiety, restlessness, nervousness, or fear. Disturbed breathing can be caused by shallow breathing, anxiety, lack of focus, anger, sadness, or discomfort. (Of course these are only some causes.)

Meditation is about becoming aware of yourself; so when you notice one of these four symptoms during your meditation, don’t react. Simply respond by noting that you are experiencing one of these symptoms, with gentle awareness. Because you sat in mindful awareness of yourself, you were able to experience one of these symptoms. It is through taking the time out to be with yourself that you get to know yourself. Notice when you feel one of the four accompaniments to mental disturbance, and use them as tools to get deeper to the source of your problems. 

Why am I distressed during meditation? Maybe your answer is a little like this: “Traumatic thoughts from my past surface when I sit quietly with myself.”Wonderful, now you are closer to the cause. Here and now, you can take the steps to resolve your past trauma. You can decide to journal, talk to a trusted friend, and release the burdens of the past which still haunt you. 

Until you sit in meditation and acknowledge how distressed you truly are, you may not ever take the time to heal. When this mental disturbance haunts you while you sit still, it is an important reminder that there are issues to be resolved.  Always be aware of the four mental disturbances during your meditation so that you may get closer to the root causes of your issues, resolve them, and enjoy a meditation free from those burdens as you continue to heal with your awareness!

Distress, despair, a trembling body, and disturbed breathing work as symbols to represent a deeper issue. It is through awareness and acknowledgment that we may take the steps to heal, and make the necessary changes to liberate ourselves from the suffering that lingers deep within. Be aware, notice the four accompaniments to mental distraction, and use them as tools to help you know yourself. The path of yoga is that of self-discovery; and we can only know ourselves through observation.

As Patanjali states in The Yoga Sutras, “the restraint of the mind is yoga. Then the seer (observer) abides in its own nature.” Be open to observe your experience. and get to know yourself from that still place of being. The four accompaniments to distraction merely work as tools, a manifested effect to get you closer to the cause of your suffering.

Rubaab’s articles can be found at https://beingtobecome.com

meditating head merged with clouds ins sunset

4 Misconceptions About Meditation

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The other day I was asked to teach a 30min mindfulness session to a corporate company that promotes wellness. As usual in my session, I start with an introduction about what the session will be about, how long it will be and what I expect of people.

It strikes me every time how people react with surprise when I tell them how the session will take place. It seems that people have expectations of what meditation should be, and how it is actually practiced. The following four misconceptions are the ones generally met with surprise:

1) You cannot move during mediation.
Yes you can, if you feel discomfort or tension, please do move! Meditation is not here to punish you. You are a living, breathing human being. Your heart beats, your blood pumps, you are not stone. You can move.

2) You have to sit – cross-legged and upright.
No, not at all. People tend to react with great astonishment when I say that during mediation, you can even lie down. Just make sure your upper body is aligned as it helps with the breathing. An aligned body means an aligned breath. Other than that, be as comfortable as you like. Some people find cross-legged comfortable and others don’t. How can you focus on breathing if you are in pain? Sit however is comfortable for you. Heck, I sometimes even walk when meditating. You do you.

3) You have to have your eyes closed.
Sometimes I mediate with my eyes open. I like to just gaze down and focus on a point in front of me. At times I just don’t feel like it, and I don’t know why. Perhaps I am not in the right mindset or don’t feel comfortable enough in my surroundings. But the point is that you just don’t get distracted. You can gaze where you want as you want as long as you have a soft focus and don’t wonder around with your eyes to get distracted.

4) You have to fully emerged in the meditation.
People tend to look at me with utter surprise when I tell then they can drink during meditation. It’s best to have a cup of tea with you or a water. Sometimes we sit there and notice: Damn, I am perished or hungry. These are just your bodily needs and that is fine. You can drink anytime, you can pop out of the meditation and join back in – it should be to your comfort at your time and your pace.

Mediation is your time for you. Do it so it feels like its benefiting you and do it with no judgement. Its about accepting whatever comes up in that moment and not about punishment or perfection.

man and woman meditating on yoga mats in studio

To learn more about my services or about general topics in life I stumble on – follow my blog on nikafiguringitout.wordpress.com

The paradox around the word “Mindful”

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The word mindful seems to indicate two things – that’s it’s about your mind and it’s about it being full just by the nature of how the word is constructed. It seems to mean an exercise where you keep your mind full. Where mindfulness is actually about the opposite.

child meditating

I believe that leads to a lot of misconceptions about mindfulness. It makes it seem like a brain focused exercise. Yet mindfulness actually focuses on making sure you are aligned in your spirit, mind and body. It takes the focus that is in your brain and brings it away from going in circles. Which it tends to do, since we are so focused on our cognitive capabilities. It has a lot to do with the way society is built these days, you would think we are a mass of minds. Our times are known as the “Age of Information’ – the driving force behind it being the internet, bringing us newer and faster forms of entertainment, commerce, research, work, and communication. Most jobs only focus on using your intelligence, education is set up to focus on your brain power – skills when it comes to your body and spirit are less asked for and wanted. It is natural almost to think that we are only minds and only needed for our knowledge.

But what people tend to forget is that your mind is only as good as your body. You cannot think straight if you are in pain, you cannot be logical if you are suffering from mental distortions, there are so many elements that impact us as a package that we are – mind, body and spirit (some call it soul). So how do you get out of your head and better connected with your body? Mindfulness. Because what mindfulness means is being aware of your mind taking over, and moving this focus to the other part that make you a whole.

One exercise is for example scanning your body from the top of your head down to your toes – seeing what areas may house tension and what other areas feel tension free. It’s a way of getting in tune with your body we tend to neglect. I do this every day and find it surprising over and over again which areas of my body feel tension. Sometime pain arises that I am not even sure how I managed to get a good night’s sleep. It is scary how much of our body and its signals we tend to push aside to enable our minds to deliver. An important thing to remember is that aligned body means an aligned mind.

Another exercise is even more simple – it’s just asking yourself how you feel. And not stopping at “good”  or “fine” – those terms do not suffice. There is no benefit of lying to yourself. Check in with your spirit by making your emotions aware to yourself. Sometimes we find we are doing much better than we thought, which leads to more happiness and sometimes things arise we know we need to work on or address so we can be happy in the long run. Remember not to be judgmental or to force yourself to feel any different. Often just being there for yourself and acknowledging your feelings will do wonders for your spirit.

So be mindful in the sense of what it truly means – being aware of yourself, your body, mind and spirit.

Read more about every day topics and tips on how to manage life at nikafiguringitout.wordpress.com

 

 

A Plea for all Parents to Practice Yoga

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The pressure on parents is actually insane. I’m serious. 

Overwhelmed? Yeah, You and Everyone Else

Mother and Daughter meditating on yoga mats
Mother and Daughter meditating on yoga mats

If you have kids and are completely stretched beyond your limit often, as in every-other-minute-often, you’re not abnormal. It’s a lot. And as if it wasn’t hard enough to take care of ourselves in a healthy, consistent, responsible, mentally stable kinda-way, now we have all of that, PLUS additional micro-humans to care for constantly. Micro-humans who cannot be trusted with a fork, let alone trusted to understand that we need things too- like a break occasionally, or a trip to the bathroom without needy little fingers and/or a curious eyeball peeking underneath the space between the closed door and the floor. But that’s not all. Oh-em-gee, THE JUDGEMENT that is tied to being a parent today is just paralyzing. If you formula-feed your baby, you’re lazy, clearly don’t possess maternal qualities, and probably should’ve bought a parakeet instead. If you breastfeed in public, you’re scarring every young male that sees you for life and is destining each one to a lifetime of debilitating porn addiction. If you vaccinate your kids, you’re letting Big Pharma inject cancer and autism into your precious babies for their corporate financial gain. Giving your child’s losing team a trophy will certainly make him entitled and he will be smoking a Juul by the time he is twelve. Don’t let your kids’ schools teach about global warming, but if you do, make sure your children know it’s caused by the parents who use disposable diapers and plastic straws. You get the point. It’s honestly maddening. So that’s why I hate to add one more “to-do” of never-ending, confusing parenting “do’s and don’ts” into the universe. But I have to, I really do. 

Practice Makes Perfectly Imperfect

Here goes: if you’re a parent, especially a mom, and even more especially a stay-at-home-mom, and you’re not practicing yoga, you’re doing it wrong. Very, very wrong.

What better way to find softness while living in a relentless state of being overwhelmed and under-slept than to spend an hour hanging out with your soul? An hour of concentrated peaceful self-love that includes a nap at the end?! Sign me up.

There’s just no better bang for your buck as far as sanity replenishment goes. I’ve been teaching yoga for a few years now, and regardless of what format I am guiding, I always begin the first few minutes of class in total silence. Even for me the instructor, those first moments, after a day that was surely bat-shit crazy, feel like a warm hug. Before I discovered my practice, as a stay-at-home-mom, my kids would run me ragged from before sunrise to after sunset and during all hours of the night. I kept active and worked out, but did psycho workouts like cardio kickboxing and spin classes. My body was in shape but my mind was absolutely, hopelessly, horrifically frazzled. I was checking off all the boxes, or so I thought, but something was missing. It wasn’t until I immersed myself in yoga that I realized that what I was yearning for was connection. Connection to my breath, my soul, and my body in a way that was dynamic, ever-evolving, and liberating as hell.

Get Lost in Space

How can we be available to our children if we are not available to our children? The only way to find the space needed to function, especially while being continuously pummeled by the intensity of parenthood, is to have space in general. It begins with the breath. It’s so simple. Not easy, but simple. Our minds become so entangled with the knots that life tie that things become foggy, our judgment becomes skewed, and we’re not doing anyone any justice, especially our children. It truly starts with just noticing that you are alive, that you are actually here in the present moment even if your brain may be tricking you into thinking otherwise, and the easiest way to do that is to notice your inhales and exhales. In time, that awareness can be linked to movement, which is a whole new level of magical, and in even more time, you may even be able to achieve the most advanced tier of yoga yet, which is really, really hard but really, really effective. No, it’s not a one handed-handstand with full lotus legs. It’s where you literally just sit quietly with your eyes closed and confront the depths of yourself. It’s called meditation, and that’s actually the goal. All of that movement and life-changing breaking-of-habits and sweating and growing and learning to just attain the ability to stand yourself for long enough to just… sit. It’s wild.

Self-Care at its Finest  

Parents, and stay-at-home parents, in particular, don’t have much choice but to givegivegivegivegivegivegive, it’s the nature of the job. Sure, there are special moments with your children, moments that make your heart feel like it very well might explode right out of your chest, but those moments are fleeting and tantrums and poop-filled diapers tend to demand a higher percentage of your attention. It can be so consuming. What yoga teaches is self-care, but in a different way. Sure, a consistent yoga practice will make you strong, leaner, and more flexible, but its real value comes in learning how to observe. As parents, our plans are consistently thwarted and frustration likely ensues. Say your toddler scribbles all over your new dining room table with a Sharpie, or you find out your teenager ditches school and goes to the mall instead. Now, imagine you have the capability, first, to not react, but to observe. Take a breath. Even for just a moment or two. Think of all the extra damage that could be avoided by taking just a second instead of flying off the handle immediately. Think of how much more effective we could be as parents if we constantly honed the tool of awareness and perspective. THAT is self-care, knowing that your reactions have ramifications, and putting the work in to make sure you are setting you and your family up for success later. And, that’s what you learn on your mat and why I’m urging parents everywhere to give it a go. Maybe selfishly because I know that more mindfulness will result in a better world, a world with less judgment about how much Cookie Crisp my son eats, but also I see it. I see the disheveled mom who runs into class two minutes late using her preschooler’s sippy cup as a water bottle because probably nothing else was clean, and I see how her soul soaks up the opportunity to just “be”. I know for myself that when all the things that I am most grateful for start to feel like the things I am least grateful for, my soul is getting dehydrated and I need a quenching round-house kick to the third eye via yoga, especially with an instructor who gets it- there are a lot who don’t, but that’s a topic for another time. 

Yoga for the People. Especially You.

So, whether or not you co-sleep, use pacifiers, or keep your kids in their rear-facing car seats until they’re eleventeen, it doesn’t matter. This is my plea, go to yoga. Take a class. Try a video at home. Step that beautiful, unique body onto your mat and begin the lifelong journey of getting to know yourself. Because while stretching is encouraged, the goal is to bend, not break.