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4 Misconceptions About Meditation

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The other day I was asked to teach a 30min mindfulness session to a corporate company that promotes wellness. As usual in my session, I start with an introduction about what the session will be about, how long it will be and what I expect of people.

It strikes me every time how people react with surprise when I tell them how the session will take place. It seems that people have expectations of what meditation should be, and how it is actually practiced. The following four misconceptions are the ones generally met with surprise:

1) You cannot move during mediation.
Yes you can, if you feel discomfort or tension, please do move! Meditation is not here to punish you. You are a living, breathing human being. Your heart beats, your blood pumps, you are not stone. You can move.

2) You have to sit – cross-legged and upright.
No, not at all. People tend to react with great astonishment when I say that during mediation, you can even lie down. Just make sure your upper body is aligned as it helps with the breathing. An aligned body means an aligned breath. Other than that, be as comfortable as you like. Some people find cross-legged comfortable and others don’t. How can you focus on breathing if you are in pain? Sit however is comfortable for you. Heck, I sometimes even walk when meditating. You do you.

3) You have to have your eyes closed.
Sometimes I mediate with my eyes open. I like to just gaze down and focus on a point in front of me. At times I just don’t feel like it, and I don’t know why. Perhaps I am not in the right mindset or don’t feel comfortable enough in my surroundings. But the point is that you just don’t get distracted. You can gaze where you want as you want as long as you have a soft focus and don’t wonder around with your eyes to get distracted.

4) You have to fully emerged in the meditation.
People tend to look at me with utter surprise when I tell then they can drink during meditation. It’s best to have a cup of tea with you or a water. Sometimes we sit there and notice: Damn, I am perished or hungry. These are just your bodily needs and that is fine. You can drink anytime, you can pop out of the meditation and join back in – it should be to your comfort at your time and your pace.

Mediation is your time for you. Do it so it feels like its benefiting you and do it with no judgement. Its about accepting whatever comes up in that moment and not about punishment or perfection.

man and woman meditating on yoga mats in studio

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The paradox around the word “Mindful”

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The word mindful seems to indicate two things – that’s it’s about your mind and it’s about it being full just by the nature of how the word is constructed. It seems to mean an exercise where you keep your mind full. Where mindfulness is actually about the opposite.

child meditating

I believe that leads to a lot of misconceptions about mindfulness. It makes it seem like a brain focused exercise. Yet mindfulness actually focuses on making sure you are aligned in your spirit, mind and body. It takes the focus that is in your brain and brings it away from going in circles. Which it tends to do, since we are so focused on our cognitive capabilities. It has a lot to do with the way society is built these days, you would think we are a mass of minds. Our times are known as the “Age of Information’ – the driving force behind it being the internet, bringing us newer and faster forms of entertainment, commerce, research, work, and communication. Most jobs only focus on using your intelligence, education is set up to focus on your brain power – skills when it comes to your body and spirit are less asked for and wanted. It is natural almost to think that we are only minds and only needed for our knowledge.

But what people tend to forget is that your mind is only as good as your body. You cannot think straight if you are in pain, you cannot be logical if you are suffering from mental distortions, there are so many elements that impact us as a package that we are – mind, body and spirit (some call it soul). So how do you get out of your head and better connected with your body? Mindfulness. Because what mindfulness means is being aware of your mind taking over, and moving this focus to the other part that make you a whole.

One exercise is for example scanning your body from the top of your head down to your toes – seeing what areas may house tension and what other areas feel tension free. It’s a way of getting in tune with your body we tend to neglect. I do this every day and find it surprising over and over again which areas of my body feel tension. Sometime pain arises that I am not even sure how I managed to get a good night’s sleep. It is scary how much of our body and its signals we tend to push aside to enable our minds to deliver. An important thing to remember is that aligned body means an aligned mind.

Another exercise is even more simple – it’s just asking yourself how you feel. And not stopping at “good”  or “fine” – those terms do not suffice. There is no benefit of lying to yourself. Check in with your spirit by making your emotions aware to yourself. Sometimes we find we are doing much better than we thought, which leads to more happiness and sometimes things arise we know we need to work on or address so we can be happy in the long run. Remember not to be judgmental or to force yourself to feel any different. Often just being there for yourself and acknowledging your feelings will do wonders for your spirit.

So be mindful in the sense of what it truly means – being aware of yourself, your body, mind and spirit.

Read more about every day topics and tips on how to manage life at nikafiguringitout.wordpress.com

 

 

Everyone Can Meditate – Here’s Why

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When I tell people that I am a meditation coach, often I get the response: “Oh I’ve tried meditation, I can’t do it – I just can’t get myself to have an empty mind or to focus”.

I am always perplexed by that statement. Meditation is literally just breathing and noticing that you are breathing. It is that simple. Everyone breaths – how can people not breathe. One thing is if you tell me: “I’ve tried burping the alphabet and I can’t do it” or “I’ve tried rolling my tongue and I can’t do it”. Those are actually difficult things – but meditating is something we all do, you just may not know it.

The problem is many people believe meditation is this state where you can sit for hours, cross legged on the floor, saying OM and not having a thought in the world. That – to be honest – does sound nice and a little bit painful. It’s like running – most of us can walk, some of us run, and others run marathons up a hill. Meditation is the walking part.

The whole premise of meditation is about being present. About being there in the moment with yourself and learning to accept your thoughts and feelings to the point where they don’t distract you from simply breathing. That’s it. And we can all do that.

We all do it, you might not notice. It’s when you are watching a scary movie and to calm yourself you breathe deeply. Or when you are at the dentist trying to breathe and take your mind off what’s going on in your mouth. Its when you are eating a piece of dessert, and you focus on scooping it up in the spoon and enjoying each bite. So much of everyday life is meditating. Don’t make it a new task or new objective – you have enough of those. Be aware of the moments where you take a step back from just functioning and focus on yourself. Tell yourself “huh – I am meditating”. You just might come to realize you are a pro.

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Meditating In Meetings

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Meditation in a studio can be difficult. Sometimes the person next to you is breathing healthy, we hear a door close or are interrupted by someone moving in their cushion. Meditation itself is difficult – it’s a practice, almost like training for a marathon.

on, some days you run with ease, other days you can’t get through 3 miles and the training never stops. It’s a continuous effort for the rest of your life, if you are willing to embark on it. And we all do it for the positive side effects including increased health. You can say while running is for the body, meditation is for the mind.

The goal is of course, to be at peace with your thoughts and feelings and to regard them with no judgement. Its effects should reach outside of that studio with the heavy breathing person. So how does this work? If its hard enough in a studio, how could it possibly work in every day life? I may practice meditation for the rest of my days, but how can I increase its effects in my daily business? Luckily there are some exercises you can introduce into your life, without having to be in the studio –  which is what I will share with you.

meditating while in office meeting

One of my favourite exercises is tracing your fingers. I do this in meetings when people overwhelm me or I notice I am getting agitated: Under the table, with your left had, trace up each one of your fingers. Breath in as you trace up, and breathe out when you get to the palm of your hand. Do that for each finger. Focus on how you breathe as you trace your fingers. This shifts your focus from the content, by moving it inward and diverting your attention from the meeting to your breathing. So many times in life we forget to breathe, and just focusing on breathing in and out is not enough – this action drives your focus and makes you take a step back. It’s ok if you zone out for a bit – the exercise takes no longer than a couple of minutes and has stopped me from letting people know my true emotional state or even better – has stopped me for letting it out on them.

Another one I like to do is under the table. I concentrate on breathing in as I roll my feet to the balls of my feet, and breathe out as a move to the heel of my feet. I usually do one foot at a time. It has helped me deal with my anxiety by focusing on the movement and the breathing a long with it. If you find yourself the type of person that often shifts around or fidgets easily, this is a great way to feel grounded and focuses. Plus its not a large movement so people wont notice and it allows you to still take notes and seem present. No one will know you are taking a moment to step back from the challenging elements of the world.

Life is beautiful, but sometimes it can get hard and then on top of that, we tend to throw meetings and deadlines to make it more challenging. Meditation can help with that. It takes little things and little steps, but the benefit you’ll get cannot be compared to the little training you have to put in.