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How to Start Meditating during COVID-19 Lock Down

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Lock down – also known as the best time to start meditating. The induced anxiety of not knowing how this will turn out, how this will affect you, if your job is stable and and and – the thoughts and fears induced by this new situation don’t even being to cover the amount of anxiety we have toward the fear of the virus itself. Its hard to cope, and some of us find ourselves not being able to stop talking about it. You may know it by now, or if not, the best way to calm your mind is through meditation.

The idea of meditation is to focus your mind on either a particular thing like the breath, on a particular thought – like loving & kindness. Which does mean, not focusing on any Covid-19 thoughts. This may seem hard and might require some energy, but its a first and healthy step in the right direction. All your thoughts on this topic won’t get you anywhere but digging yourself more and more into your own anxiety. You need to be forced to step out. Here is a simple and easy way to do it, and a great introduction into a meditation:

Sit, stand, walk, whichever is most comfortable but make sure you are alone in your space.

Count each breath in, count each breath out. Do it till you get to 10. If you feel you need more, do it again.

That’s it! You have just meditated! If you lose count, that is ok, just start again and make sure you get to 10.

It’s easier than riding a bike and will benefit your mental health and your happiness. Aim to do it once a day. I usually do it while brushing my teeth or while waiting for my work computer to start up. But if you can’t, just doing it once is already more than never.

If you get bored of doing this, the next level up you can start to focus on where you feel the breath the most. You will notice this changes, sometimes it will be your nose, other times your stomach, other times your guts. The short check in with your body will move your focus away from being stuck in your head, to settle your focus in your body. It not only helps you, but you will notice how much easier it is to deal with matters and the people around you. You will be happier, just by counting your breaths. I dare you to try it.

man wearing sunglasses meditating in front of a city skyline

More of such tips & posts are on my site lifecoachnika.com

The Importance of Meditation in These Trying Times

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It’s a scary time to be alive right now, as the coronavirus continues to spread across the globe. With bad news coming in almost on a regular basis (and with no way to release that frustration due to social distancing), it’s easy to let the stress and anxiety compound. This makes meditation all the more crucial in these trying times, particularly as a way to take care of your mental health and help you survive what is shaping up to be the new normal for the foreseeable future. 

Helping yourself to help others

While it’s important to be kind to one another and look out for our neighbors as much as possible, it’s equally important to extend that kindness to ourselves.

Meditation may seem like a small act in the face of everything else that’s going on, but taking care of yourself in this way can also provide you with a community of people who are also trying their best to keep calm amidst the chaos. This is why pop star Lizzo streamed a live meditation on Instagram a few days ago in lieu of her cancelled show. Her meditation session focused on helping people clear their minds in order to see the ways that they can help — “the one thing we will always have is togetherness,” she reminded her viewers. 

Indeed, clearing your mind through meditation is crucial to help you sift through all the noise and see how you can incite positive change into your community. At the very least, it’s a lot better than refreshing your phone every other minute or so out of fear. 

Making your practice sustainable

Since the madness won’t come to an end any time soon, it’s important to really make an effort to incorporate meditation as part of your daily routine. Our post entitled ‘4 Misconceptions About Meditation’ emphasizes that you can move around, sit comfortably, and even grab a drink of water while you meditate — what’s important is that you really focus on taking that time out for yourself. 

 If you’re someone who prefers to sweat it out when you’re stressed, meditation should be a very important part of recovery. While many people will turn to exercise as a way to de-stress, Parsley Health suggests that to beat brain fog exercise should also be accompanied with active tune-ins to provide your body that much-needed balance. Overworking your body may end up making you even more frazzled and exhausted in the long run. It’s especially important to listen to your body and give it the TLC it needs.

It’s also good to know that your body can benefit from a meditation break faster than you realize. As more and more people are looking to adopt remote work, business coach Shannon Houde highlights that sometimes having a three-minute reset is all you need to power through the rest of your day. 

As mentioned at the beginning of the article, stressing yourself out and panicking won’t do you and your community any favors. The chaos all around us is something we have to take as a given; the question is, how will we deal with it? While we’re all figuring out how to adjust to what might be the new normal (at least for now), meditation can help give you that clear headspace that you sorely need. 

woman meditating with eyes closed and hand over heart

Guided meditation: The Safe House

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Everyone wants to have a sense that they can be safe. Secure. Protected. They want a place where they can unwind and completely relax. Exhale the day away. At times though, the events of the day, the hustle, the bustle, the conflict, the fortitude, the commute, can rob us of our joy, our sense of safety in the present moment. We have all been affected somehow by current events. The number one thing we take for granted, rely on, our health, is threatened in some way, and as a result we must compromise everything- our connection to each other, our community, even our routines. Today, Monday morning, March 16, 2020, you could not rely on that traffic to the office. Or the appointments you made last week. For most of us, that didn’t happen, and we got, what we claim we always wanted-to stay home. 

Since staying home does not feel like a reward but a grounding, a punishment almost. We are not allowed to do our jobs the way we are accustomed to doing them. This is new. Unprecedented. What is wonderful about the mind is that the imagination resides within it. A child with a vivid imagination is able to dream themselves out of stressful situations. It is why the children are the strongest of us all. There is no limit to it. When we use it, it opens the door to not only increased awareness to what, we, ourselves like to dream but the enjoyment of the moment that you are completely or presently in. It is now, always. Now. So, now, I would like to invite you all to imagine you are standing on top of a mountain. Look up at the sky. What time of day is it? What do you see? What are the shape of the clouds, if there are any? And anything else you can think of. Now slowly lower your chin and look straight ahead of you? Where are you? The forest, the desert? By the sea? Take in the sight before you. When you look further down you notice a path winding down your mountain. Take a step and begin to follow it. Take in everything you hear as you step one foot in front of the other. Can you hear any animals, birds? Insects? A little farther up ahead you see a small animal walking down the path. There is something about it that attracts your attention. Your chief desire is to follow it. 

forest by a hill with snow

The path winds deeper down the side of the mountain. You put a little pep in your step to keep up with the tiny creature shuffling in front of you. No matter where you are, the surrounding area begins to change, feeling more familiar. Scents you remember from when you were young creep up into your nostrils. Or a voice, in the distance, of someone you love. You’ve been mindlessly following the animal up until now and then you realize it is bringing you to a house nearby. In a few steps it begins to come into view. Pause and take in the view before you. What does it look like? What is it made out of? Is it well kept? Take a few steps closer. Reach into your pocket and pull out a key. Twirl it around in your hands for a moment. What is the design of the key? What metal is it made from? Is it on a chain or tether of some kind? Look toward the house again and walk up to the front door. How to you feel? This is your house. Use your key to open the door. 

No one knows about this place but you. This house has been waiting for you to let a little light in. You are safe here. Everything you see you have put there, with your imagination. Fancy that? What do you see? Take a few moments to notice what the room you are in looks like. Go over and sit down somewhere, if there is a place to sit. Look around. Pick a comfortable spot to relax. Your favorite section of the room. The light is perfect. Take a few moments to notice your breath. The room is just as you like it to be. You are in complete and total comfort. Breathe in. And out. One more time, in, and out. 

You hear a small rustling somewhere in the room and remember the tiny creature who led you to your humble abode. It is eager and wants to be near you. Look next to you to find it has been there with you the entire time. It begs to be picked up. Since it is so adorable you have no problem doing this, and with joy you gently hug it to your heart. It lets out an exclamation of glee. You notice in its eyes that it wants to tell you something. It gently whispers in your ear. Take a moment to really listen with your heart to what your teeny friend is trying to tell you. What does it say? After you’ve heard it the animal jumps off of your lap and scurries toward the door. You take this as a sign that it is time to leave. Gently rise from our seat and begin to walk towards the door. How do you feel? What, again, did you just hear the animal whisper to you? As you take in the sight of your safe house, open the door, and know you may return whenever you please, when you are alone, in your time of need. Look back out the front door, step out and close the door behind you. 

See the path back up the mountain in front of you, as inviting now as it was the first time you saw it, for now you have memories to bring back with you. The animal is eager to make the journey with you. You follow it the way you came. Take in your surroundings once again. How much time has passed, if any? How does the sky seem to you now? What is the temperature where you are? Are there many trees or wide open spaces? As you walk back up the mountain with the greatest of ease, you notice that, somehow you have lost track of your animal, but that’s alright, you remember where you are going and each step seems lighter than the last. You make it to the top effortlessly. Take another look around at the landscape before you, opening your arms wide, feeling the energy of the place, the lightness, the power of it. Notice the breeze, the smells and sounds. Notice any sensations in the body or any thoughts racing through the mind. This is a magical place. It is yours, and it is of you and with you at all times, ready to be visited whenever you need to feel safe, and home.

snow covered ground and sunlight
river running by forest and hill

7 Benefits of Meditation During Pregnancy

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Pregnancy can be an anxious time for parents-to-be, especially for first timers. Even if you already have children, a new baby adds on loads of work. Worry, stress, and mood swings are all common and normal, but wouldn’t you want to relieve some of this anxiety? One important aspect for a smooth pregnancy is the ability to let go and release, in both a physical and mental sense. Remaining confident in your body and allowing fear to dissipate also calls for a more desired labor process. Meditation can help starting day one of your pregnancy and if you are a regular practitioner before that, then good for you! Even if you are near term or post-partum, it will only assist in whatever situation you may be experiencing. Listed below are some the benefits you will reap from taking some quiet time for your body, mind and growing child.

meditation while pregnant

1. Release fear, anxiety and stress

Even if you aren’t pregnant, this is a good reason to meditate. Over time, a consistent meditation practice helps quiet the mind and reduce stress. These pent-up emotions are known to prolong labor which in turn will affect your mood and stamina during delivery. It’s perfectly normal to feel scared and burdened, but it doesn’t hurt to lower the levels of these feelings. The more empowered and confident you feel in your body and mind, the better you will be able to navigate during the labor process in every aspect.

2. Connect to your baby in your changing body

There is literally another person growing inside of you. This applies major changes to your body, but this is also an important time to begin cultivating a bond between you and the magic inside of you. In my opinion, one of the most interesting things during pregnancy is the idea that there is another being with chakras inside of you, meaning you are carrying two sets of chakras. Meditating during this time helps you with aligning to yourself and your growing fetus. Right now, you are one with your child, and the time will come when s/he arrives in a physical form. Taking the time to connect with your baby while s/he is in the womb only calls for a greater connection on the physical plane.

3. Take moments for self-care

Savor this time for yourself now before your bundle of joy arrives. Of course, you will enjoy your child once s/he is out of the womb, but it can be a little more difficult to fit self-care routines and moments of solitude into your schedule.  Most of your time will soon be spent tending to baby as opposed to caring for yourself. While you have this opportunity, meditate to some soothing music or in a quiet space. Soon, your meditations will be accompanied by the background noises of baby cries.

4. Sleep better

Between the physical discomfort and mental struggle, it’s challenging to find adequate rest. Meditating will allow for a better sleep and over time may help with the constant thoughts that keep you up at night. When you take the time to practice quieting the mind, over time this act becomes easier and easier to achieve. The goal is not to entirely dissipate these thoughts, but rather to observe and notice. Eventually you will feel more at ease with whatever is going through your head, thus inducing more relaxation.

5. Help prepare for labor in a positive manner

Labor is not only a physical endurance, but a lot of it is mental. The ability to let go and release plays a huge role in the delivery process. Affirmations are also very helpful in your meditation practice and can be used as tools during the delivery process. When you feel during the contractions there is too much sensation and it seems unbearable, circling back to your deep, intuitive state and repeating affirmations to yourself will allow you to remember that the labor process is temporary and you are fully capable of birthing your child in the way you desire. Some examples of affirmations include, “My body is strong. My body is healthy. I can birth my baby.” It’s always empowering to create your own personal affirmations as well.

6. Lower the risk of postpartum depression

When you have more of a sense of control over your thoughts, this skill tends to translate into everything else you are doing (including childbirth). Although it may be tough at first to meditate, with a consistent practice you will begin seeing results sooner than later. You will realize you are in control of your thoughts and feelings and you have full power in how you deliver and raise your child. Some things are beyond our control, but for the most part how we react plays a big part in the outcome as well. Meditation is a way to come back to center if you may start feeling thoughts of depression and sadness during any point. It is a tool we may use to self-reflect and gain wisdom from our everyday lives.

7. Develop sustainable healthy habits to increase longevity

Like a cascade effect, incorporating one healthy habit leads to another. Meditating does not cost (unless you join a group session at a studio or center where you may need to pay) and doesn’t take much effort. It may seem very difficult at first but understand that this is a process of turning inward and learning more about yourself. No need to take it too seriously and allow yourself to enjoy the process. You’ll find that a clearer mind will encourage you to be more positive in thought and action.

Now that you are aware of some of the benefits of meditating, you may be thinking where do you start? Find an area in your space that is clear of clutter, and preferably quiet. Wear loose comfortable clothing. Sit comfortably on your sitting bones on the floor, or if you are in a chair make sure your feet lie flat on the floor. Maintain a tall spine, allowing your shoulders to relax away from your ears and in line with your hips. Close your eyes and begin to observe your breath. This is a good starting point and can be continued for a minute or two, even up to twenty. There are many different types of meditations so take some time to research and explore. Sit in your own personal space, join a group, download a meditation app or open a guided practice on YouTube. You’ll thank yourself, and your baby will too.

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4 Signs of Distraction During Meditation

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It can be difficult to stay focused during meditation. Sometimes your mind wanders through overthinking, and your concentration can be disturbed. 

It is important to know when you are becoming distracted; that way you can bring your focus back to the meditation and acknowledge the distraction. Knowing what distracts you helps you get to know yourself. Everything has a cause and effect, as the sixth hermetic principle states. This means that each cause has an effect and each effect has a cause; a law of the universe. 

Every cause produces an effect.

A mental disturbance in meditation is not exempt from this law. A mere distraction in the mind can have multiple causes, and cause various effects. We live in this infinite change of cause and effect; all events which take place are held together by the thread of this law. We must observe the effects of something to lead us back to its cause. If we see that our friend is crying, we know that they are experiencing it because of pain. The crying is an effect which leads us closer to the cause. 

Similarly, when we observe the effects of our distraction during meditation, we are able to acknowledge the cause. The Buddha’s first noble truth to alleviating suffering is to acknowledge suffering. Before we can take any steps to heal, we must first acknowledge the problem. 

Meditation gives us the open space to do just that, through observation. 

In The Yoga Sutras, Patanjali shared four accompaniments to the mental distractions we experience during meditation to help us be more aware of when it happens. These accompaniments to distraction are: 

  1. Distress
  2. Despair
  3. Trembling of the Body
  4. Disturbed Breathing

Each one of these effects has its cause. Distress can be caused by a lack of sleep, overthinking, excessive worrying, poor diet, or fear of the future. Despair can be caused by dwelling in sorrow, ungratefulness, poor relationships, regret, fear, or self-doubt. Trembling of the body can be caused by anxiety, restlessness, nervousness, or fear. Disturbed breathing can be caused by shallow breathing, anxiety, lack of focus, anger, sadness, or discomfort. (Of course these are only some causes.)

Meditation is about becoming aware of yourself; so when you notice one of these four symptoms during your meditation, don’t react. Simply respond by noting that you are experiencing one of these symptoms, with gentle awareness. Because you sat in mindful awareness of yourself, you were able to experience one of these symptoms. It is through taking the time out to be with yourself that you get to know yourself. Notice when you feel one of the four accompaniments to mental disturbance, and use them as tools to get deeper to the source of your problems. 

Why am I distressed during meditation? Maybe your answer is a little like this: “Traumatic thoughts from my past surface when I sit quietly with myself.”Wonderful, now you are closer to the cause. Here and now, you can take the steps to resolve your past trauma. You can decide to journal, talk to a trusted friend, and release the burdens of the past which still haunt you. 

Until you sit in meditation and acknowledge how distressed you truly are, you may not ever take the time to heal. When this mental disturbance haunts you while you sit still, it is an important reminder that there are issues to be resolved.  Always be aware of the four mental disturbances during your meditation so that you may get closer to the root causes of your issues, resolve them, and enjoy a meditation free from those burdens as you continue to heal with your awareness!

Distress, despair, a trembling body, and disturbed breathing work as symbols to represent a deeper issue. It is through awareness and acknowledgment that we may take the steps to heal, and make the necessary changes to liberate ourselves from the suffering that lingers deep within. Be aware, notice the four accompaniments to mental distraction, and use them as tools to help you know yourself. The path of yoga is that of self-discovery; and we can only know ourselves through observation.

As Patanjali states in The Yoga Sutras, “the restraint of the mind is yoga. Then the seer (observer) abides in its own nature.” Be open to observe your experience. and get to know yourself from that still place of being. The four accompaniments to distraction merely work as tools, a manifested effect to get you closer to the cause of your suffering.

Rubaab’s articles can be found at https://beingtobecome.com

meditating head merged with clouds ins sunset

4 Misconceptions About Meditation

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The other day I was asked to teach a 30min mindfulness session to a corporate company that promotes wellness. As usual in my session, I start with an introduction about what the session will be about, how long it will be and what I expect of people.

It strikes me every time how people react with surprise when I tell them how the session will take place. It seems that people have expectations of what meditation should be, and how it is actually practiced. The following four misconceptions are the ones generally met with surprise:

1) You cannot move during mediation.
Yes you can, if you feel discomfort or tension, please do move! Meditation is not here to punish you. You are a living, breathing human being. Your heart beats, your blood pumps, you are not stone. You can move.

2) You have to sit – cross-legged and upright.
No, not at all. People tend to react with great astonishment when I say that during mediation, you can even lie down. Just make sure your upper body is aligned as it helps with the breathing. An aligned body means an aligned breath. Other than that, be as comfortable as you like. Some people find cross-legged comfortable and others don’t. How can you focus on breathing if you are in pain? Sit however is comfortable for you. Heck, I sometimes even walk when meditating. You do you.

3) You have to have your eyes closed.
Sometimes I mediate with my eyes open. I like to just gaze down and focus on a point in front of me. At times I just don’t feel like it, and I don’t know why. Perhaps I am not in the right mindset or don’t feel comfortable enough in my surroundings. But the point is that you just don’t get distracted. You can gaze where you want as you want as long as you have a soft focus and don’t wonder around with your eyes to get distracted.

4) You have to fully emerged in the meditation.
People tend to look at me with utter surprise when I tell then they can drink during meditation. It’s best to have a cup of tea with you or a water. Sometimes we sit there and notice: Damn, I am perished or hungry. These are just your bodily needs and that is fine. You can drink anytime, you can pop out of the meditation and join back in – it should be to your comfort at your time and your pace.

Mediation is your time for you. Do it so it feels like its benefiting you and do it with no judgement. Its about accepting whatever comes up in that moment and not about punishment or perfection.

man and woman meditating on yoga mats in studio

To learn more about my services or about general topics in life I stumble on – follow my blog on nikafiguringitout.wordpress.com

A Plea for all Parents to Practice Yoga

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The pressure on parents is actually insane. I’m serious. 

Overwhelmed? Yeah, You and Everyone Else

Mother and Daughter meditating on yoga mats
Mother and Daughter meditating on yoga mats

If you have kids and are completely stretched beyond your limit often, as in every-other-minute-often, you’re not abnormal. It’s a lot. And as if it wasn’t hard enough to take care of ourselves in a healthy, consistent, responsible, mentally stable kinda-way, now we have all of that, PLUS additional micro-humans to care for constantly. Micro-humans who cannot be trusted with a fork, let alone trusted to understand that we need things too- like a break occasionally, or a trip to the bathroom without needy little fingers and/or a curious eyeball peeking underneath the space between the closed door and the floor. But that’s not all. Oh-em-gee, THE JUDGEMENT that is tied to being a parent today is just paralyzing. If you formula-feed your baby, you’re lazy, clearly don’t possess maternal qualities, and probably should’ve bought a parakeet instead. If you breastfeed in public, you’re scarring every young male that sees you for life and is destining each one to a lifetime of debilitating porn addiction. If you vaccinate your kids, you’re letting Big Pharma inject cancer and autism into your precious babies for their corporate financial gain. Giving your child’s losing team a trophy will certainly make him entitled and he will be smoking a Juul by the time he is twelve. Don’t let your kids’ schools teach about global warming, but if you do, make sure your children know it’s caused by the parents who use disposable diapers and plastic straws. You get the point. It’s honestly maddening. So that’s why I hate to add one more “to-do” of never-ending, confusing parenting “do’s and don’ts” into the universe. But I have to, I really do. 

Practice Makes Perfectly Imperfect

Here goes: if you’re a parent, especially a mom, and even more especially a stay-at-home-mom, and you’re not practicing yoga, you’re doing it wrong. Very, very wrong.

What better way to find softness while living in a relentless state of being overwhelmed and under-slept than to spend an hour hanging out with your soul? An hour of concentrated peaceful self-love that includes a nap at the end?! Sign me up.

There’s just no better bang for your buck as far as sanity replenishment goes. I’ve been teaching yoga for a few years now, and regardless of what format I am guiding, I always begin the first few minutes of class in total silence. Even for me the instructor, those first moments, after a day that was surely bat-shit crazy, feel like a warm hug. Before I discovered my practice, as a stay-at-home-mom, my kids would run me ragged from before sunrise to after sunset and during all hours of the night. I kept active and worked out, but did psycho workouts like cardio kickboxing and spin classes. My body was in shape but my mind was absolutely, hopelessly, horrifically frazzled. I was checking off all the boxes, or so I thought, but something was missing. It wasn’t until I immersed myself in yoga that I realized that what I was yearning for was connection. Connection to my breath, my soul, and my body in a way that was dynamic, ever-evolving, and liberating as hell.

Get Lost in Space

How can we be available to our children if we are not available to our children? The only way to find the space needed to function, especially while being continuously pummeled by the intensity of parenthood, is to have space in general. It begins with the breath. It’s so simple. Not easy, but simple. Our minds become so entangled with the knots that life tie that things become foggy, our judgment becomes skewed, and we’re not doing anyone any justice, especially our children. It truly starts with just noticing that you are alive, that you are actually here in the present moment even if your brain may be tricking you into thinking otherwise, and the easiest way to do that is to notice your inhales and exhales. In time, that awareness can be linked to movement, which is a whole new level of magical, and in even more time, you may even be able to achieve the most advanced tier of yoga yet, which is really, really hard but really, really effective. No, it’s not a one handed-handstand with full lotus legs. It’s where you literally just sit quietly with your eyes closed and confront the depths of yourself. It’s called meditation, and that’s actually the goal. All of that movement and life-changing breaking-of-habits and sweating and growing and learning to just attain the ability to stand yourself for long enough to just… sit. It’s wild.

Self-Care at its Finest  

Parents, and stay-at-home parents, in particular, don’t have much choice but to givegivegivegivegivegivegive, it’s the nature of the job. Sure, there are special moments with your children, moments that make your heart feel like it very well might explode right out of your chest, but those moments are fleeting and tantrums and poop-filled diapers tend to demand a higher percentage of your attention. It can be so consuming. What yoga teaches is self-care, but in a different way. Sure, a consistent yoga practice will make you strong, leaner, and more flexible, but its real value comes in learning how to observe. As parents, our plans are consistently thwarted and frustration likely ensues. Say your toddler scribbles all over your new dining room table with a Sharpie, or you find out your teenager ditches school and goes to the mall instead. Now, imagine you have the capability, first, to not react, but to observe. Take a breath. Even for just a moment or two. Think of all the extra damage that could be avoided by taking just a second instead of flying off the handle immediately. Think of how much more effective we could be as parents if we constantly honed the tool of awareness and perspective. THAT is self-care, knowing that your reactions have ramifications, and putting the work in to make sure you are setting you and your family up for success later. And, that’s what you learn on your mat and why I’m urging parents everywhere to give it a go. Maybe selfishly because I know that more mindfulness will result in a better world, a world with less judgment about how much Cookie Crisp my son eats, but also I see it. I see the disheveled mom who runs into class two minutes late using her preschooler’s sippy cup as a water bottle because probably nothing else was clean, and I see how her soul soaks up the opportunity to just “be”. I know for myself that when all the things that I am most grateful for start to feel like the things I am least grateful for, my soul is getting dehydrated and I need a quenching round-house kick to the third eye via yoga, especially with an instructor who gets it- there are a lot who don’t, but that’s a topic for another time. 

Yoga for the People. Especially You.

So, whether or not you co-sleep, use pacifiers, or keep your kids in their rear-facing car seats until they’re eleventeen, it doesn’t matter. This is my plea, go to yoga. Take a class. Try a video at home. Step that beautiful, unique body onto your mat and begin the lifelong journey of getting to know yourself. Because while stretching is encouraged, the goal is to bend, not break. 

Healing Anxiety Through Mediation

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woman meditating in lotus pose
woman meditating in lotus pose

For most of us, it’s common to wake up and immediately feel stressed out about the day ahead. Bogged down with endless to do lists, responsibilities, daily practicalities; anxiety begins to loom over us, and we can’t fathom taking a moment to ourselves to truly connect, and when we do, we’re faced with re-living our anxiousness.
Suddenly, we read an article, or watch a YouTube from one of our favorite influencers—that tells us the benefits of mediation. We’re told everything from sound peace of mind, stress management, healthier mental process, etc. But we’re not sold. If life could only be so…Simple. Even though we’re not convinced, we attempt at mediation. What harm could it cause? After all, five or ten minutes in the morning is harmless right?
Finally, we find ourselves listening to guided mediations, and breathing exercises by some of the top spiritualist, thought leaders. Slowly we can see the changes in our moods, attitudes. As time progresses, we’re thinking positive, enjoying the benefits of putting the dedication, and hard work we’ve committed to ourselves.
And then… Life happens.
Something that we weren’t expecting to happen, does. Our day becomes unmanageable, we’re struggling in some aspect of our life, and the anxiety resurfaces. The feelings of powerlessness meet’s us in our need to get everything done, but the problem is… We don’t know how to handle the emotions that we’re processing—which leads us to feel paralyzed. We then believe that perhaps we just need sleep, and we can start over the next day. Until we lay down and discover our anxiety is looming over us like a black cloud.
What happened? You may ask yourself. You thought anxiety was a thing in the past. You’d overcame it and can’t identify with that person who was always on edge, who was so shaking and fragile.

The truth is, it’s easy to feel despair, and lonely when confronting anxiety. We crave control and thrive on it. We return to our mediation practice day after day, hoping that we’ll find ever lasting peace of mind. Perhaps we’ll find our nirvana. But what if I told you that losing control, feelings of despair are a good thing? Yep, that’s right!

I have personally found that mediation is best used as a tool to enable self-exploration that promotes self-awareness, profound inner peace by leaning in and looking at the painful aspects of ourselves dead in the face. Furthermore, as we observe our discontentment and dis-ease, we realize that our psyche is inviting us to embrace these so-called negative aspects that we’d rather judge, flee and abandon.

When we choose to reject feelings of anxiety, despair, discontentment we approach our mediation practice with the intention of resistance. Resistance shows up as: “I must focus on the positive.” This is to say that we spend our mediation time avoiding our truth and become undone the moment our true feelings surface throughout our day. However, we must keep in mind that our mediation practice is ours and this is the space we create for ourselves to be as naked, vulnerable as we need to, and without apology.

By allowing ourselves to lean into our discomfort, we give ourselves permission to feel out of control. Anytime we give ourselves permission to heal by first acknowledging anxiety, we build self-trust and allow feelings to surface without harshly judging ourselves or our mental state.

The moment we can release the need to neglect any part of ourselves and build self-trust— we then find ways to work with what we’re feeling and thinking. As our day progresses and the stress factors show up, we can choose to go with those feelings. Our anxiety becomes our practice by checking in with ourselves and not taking on a victim mentality. The next time you’re in your meditation, simply allow whatever feelings that exist below the surface to arise. This can be feelings of joy, peace, contentment. Or it can be hostility, pain, suffering, resentment, anger, fear. Whatever feeling you experience allow it to come out of you, allow your breath to pull it to the light and dissolve. At first you may that you can’t quiet your mind, and the restless voice that is repeating in your head won’t stop. That voice in your head has a space in your mediation. Give it some love by allowing yourself to hear it out. You will find out that there’s no need to control your thoughts or attempt to make yourself feel anything. Your job is to show up for yourself, and as you address and explore your feelings—you’ll be able to work through it with a new story that frees you from it altogether.
It can be dangerous to force ourselves to paint positivity over our traumas and anxieties, because we don’t allow ourselves to build healthy self-esteem. While it’s true that positive thinking can in-fact change our entire life, and possibly assist in our healing—we can’t skip the steps to building our mental and emotional foundations. When you’re meditating and the same old stories and anxieties come to surface, it can cause us to feel that we’re not getting anywhere. Keep in mind that healing the emotional body and mental landscape is like physical exercise. We don’t get easy results at first—we must earn it. As we persist in our exercise, we slowly begin to witness changes in the body, and we desire to push our bodies to see further growth.
In mediation, we’re not pushing our emotions. We’re setting the stage to examine them, as we consistently do that; we become comfortable with leaning into our emotions. Feeling our emotions helps us deal with our triggers. Our triggers are the body’s reaction to external stimuli. Once we allow ourselves to confront these triggers in our mediation, the body starts its own healing process. The healing process naturally helps us deal with heavy emotional weight such as anxiety.
Healing anxiety through mediation can cause us to feel overwhelmed. There are days we feel extremely happy, and the next day we can feel highly sensitive. This emotional imbalance is a key indicator that our body is regulating itself. Needless-to-say, the body and the emotions are becoming congruent; which is a shock to the nervous system. Keep in mind that your immediate inclination will be to recoil. Instead of recoiling, show up for yourself. You’ll be reminded that you can land safely now that you’re building a healthy self esteem and foundation. So, I invite you to explore, fall and get back up. Do it again, and land.

Alas,
Breath by breath. You find your center.

Everyone Can Meditate – Here’s Why

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When I tell people that I am a meditation coach, often I get the response: “Oh I’ve tried meditation, I can’t do it – I just can’t get myself to have an empty mind or to focus”.

I am always perplexed by that statement. Meditation is literally just breathing and noticing that you are breathing. It is that simple. Everyone breaths – how can people not breathe. One thing is if you tell me: “I’ve tried burping the alphabet and I can’t do it” or “I’ve tried rolling my tongue and I can’t do it”. Those are actually difficult things – but meditating is something we all do, you just may not know it.

The problem is many people believe meditation is this state where you can sit for hours, cross legged on the floor, saying OM and not having a thought in the world. That – to be honest – does sound nice and a little bit painful. It’s like running – most of us can walk, some of us run, and others run marathons up a hill. Meditation is the walking part.

The whole premise of meditation is about being present. About being there in the moment with yourself and learning to accept your thoughts and feelings to the point where they don’t distract you from simply breathing. That’s it. And we can all do that.

We all do it, you might not notice. It’s when you are watching a scary movie and to calm yourself you breathe deeply. Or when you are at the dentist trying to breathe and take your mind off what’s going on in your mouth. Its when you are eating a piece of dessert, and you focus on scooping it up in the spoon and enjoying each bite. So much of everyday life is meditating. Don’t make it a new task or new objective – you have enough of those. Be aware of the moments where you take a step back from just functioning and focus on yourself. Tell yourself “huh – I am meditating”. You just might come to realize you are a pro.

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Mindfulness For Decision-Making

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Mindfulness is everywhere. You can’t read a magazine or website without it showing up in one way or another. There’s a reason for this and it’s fantastic that the western world is embracing this incredibly important mental health tool, but it always seems to be described the same way: “Being present in the moment” or “Create better focus”, when really it’s so much more than that.

beautiful woman brunette with eyes closed

Photo by Luciana Sena one Pexels.com

Did you know that when you sit and bring your attention to your breathing, being present, focusing on something specific, you’re really shutting down the chatter in your brain? You’re really taking control of what your brain is doing instead of letting it do what it naturally does when there’s free time, which is think about things and stuff and more things and then more stuff.  When you take over control and make your brain quiet down, you’re creating space inside yourself for your intuition to take the lead and guide you to what your inner being knows to be true. You’re removing the logic of your thoughts and letting what your heart wants to come to the surface. It’s your “gut feeling” all the way.

This is a hugely important tool for making decisions that you just can’t seem to settle on.  What direction should I go with _____? Which job should I take? What do I believe about _____ deep down? Why do I let certain behaviors make me so angry? This works for anything from what to eat for dinner to unveiling what childhood experience shaped the way you think about something.  

While there are tons of excellent guided meditations for this, you can do it yourself in just a few minutes.

1.Sit or lie down quietly and comfortably and close your eyes.

2.Take a few big, deep breaths and sigh them out while you let all of your muscles relax; feeling your body get heavy.

3.Then ask yourself a question and let it go.

4.Bring your attention to the air coming in and out of of your nose. Just feel yourself breathing.  

5.If you start to think about things, just be aware of it and bring your attention back to your breath. Stay there, breathing, just for a few minutes.

You may get an answer immediately or it may just come to you later on, but you’ll answer from your authentic self and you’ll know what to do or what it is you truly want in a situation.   So give it a shot! Keep doing it and it may soon become your go-to guide for everything you do.

Photo by Luciana Sena on Pexels.com