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Nika Figuring It Out

Three Easy Ways to Deal with Stress

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No matter how much we try sometimes, stress is something that creeps up on us. We can try as hard as we want to avoid it, but sometimes it seems no amount of meditation or premeditated measures can prevent stress from arising in our lives. Sometimes it’s even hard to notice we are reacting to stress because we are so far into the stress we can barely recognize who we are. The best thing to do when you do notice you are being overtaken by stress is to mitigate. There are many ways you can take a step back from the stressful situation – find one that works for you. In the meantime, try out these:

  1. Detach
    A quick and simple way to remove yourself from the situation is to put headphones on and listen to music. It’s a simple act and you don’t even need to leave your desk to do so. Just put on those headphones and slip into a new world. Even just a second that you detach yourself from the current situation will help you gain some perspective.
  2. Move Your Body
    Move whatever way you can. I know it’s easy to get pulled into the moment and feeling like stepping away seems impossible. But the moment you do your body will get really excited you are letting it live out the adrenaline. You will feel more connected with your body – your thoughts won’t be flooding your head, but the dam will be realized and your body can help you deal with the stress in your head. Walk to the bathroom, the water cooler, stretch to the ceiling, do what ever you can to add some movement to the situation.
  3. Shake It Out
    A really nice way to let out stress from your body is to shake it out. Shake out your hands, your shoulders what ever you can just release that tension in your body. Even just turning your ankles under your desk my help you feel more relaxed. I know people that go to the office bathroom just to jump around a bit.

Perhaps you will try all of the methods at once, perhaps you find new ones. Important is there are simple tools for you to reach out to. Because you deserve more in your life than the stress you have.

Read more of these tips on lifecoachnika.com

The Intimidation of Yoga

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It’s hard getting into any new hobby. Often you don’t know where to start or you don’t know what to wear the first time (shoes might be no but socks? do you bring socks? do I need to bring water or will I look stupid if I do?). When you do summon the courage to go, the first time is always rough. Keeping up with the speed while trying to understand what you are supposed to do, it’s really hard. Especially if you are upside down. And especially when doing something as foreign as yoga.

Let’s be honest, the poses do not come  naturally. No one just casually finds themselves in a yoga pose prior to doing yoga. It’s not like you wake up one day and find yourself in a warrior pose. Which adds to the discomfort. Does it hurt because I am doing it right – or does it hurt because I am doing it wrong? All these thoughts do not encourage the zen feeling yoga has claimed to invoke. You look to others to see if they are doing the same thing and feel like it looks so much better when they do it compared to your awkward stance.

Negative thoughts like that are not encouraging. They have caused a lot of people to give up on yoga. As a teacher I often hear “Yoga is too hard for me” or “I just don’t have the body to do Yoga”. It breaks my heart because the essence of yoga is that it is all inclusive and for everyone. It is very simple and easy and hence why it helps you feel connected and zen. The issue is that many teachers or practicing Yogis take it to the next level. I’ve been teaching for over three years, I walk into classes feeling intimidated! If I walk in and people are already in head stand I wonder if I am in the wrong place – an intense course in reverse blood flow or the morning stretch class I signed up for before going to brunch. I check instagram and so many teachers are inventing poses, doing handstands on one hand I wonder if I chose the wrong profession as I doubt I will ever be as good as them.

girl doing yoga

In true human nature we compare ourselves with one another and compete, instead of adhering to the essence of yoga – namely inner peace. Just because other people are not adhering to the core of yoga, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t. If you aim to do yoga because it helps bring balance into your day and makes you feel better, then you are doing it right. Don’t do it wrong and compete with others. Try to do the poses so they feel like tension in your body is being released. You will feel the difference from that to pain. Focus on doing it right by leaving the class feeling better about yourself, not worse. Yoga is simple, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Check out my page if you have any questions lifecoachnika.com

How to Start Meditating during COVID-19 Lock Down

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Lock down – also known as the best time to start meditating. The induced anxiety of not knowing how this will turn out, how this will affect you, if your job is stable and and and – the thoughts and fears induced by this new situation don’t even being to cover the amount of anxiety we have toward the fear of the virus itself. Its hard to cope, and some of us find ourselves not being able to stop talking about it. You may know it by now, or if not, the best way to calm your mind is through meditation.

The idea of meditation is to focus your mind on either a particular thing like the breath, on a particular thought – like loving & kindness. Which does mean, not focusing on any Covid-19 thoughts. This may seem hard and might require some energy, but its a first and healthy step in the right direction. All your thoughts on this topic won’t get you anywhere but digging yourself more and more into your own anxiety. You need to be forced to step out. Here is a simple and easy way to do it, and a great introduction into a meditation:

Sit, stand, walk, whichever is most comfortable but make sure you are alone in your space.

Count each breath in, count each breath out. Do it till you get to 10. If you feel you need more, do it again.

That’s it! You have just meditated! If you lose count, that is ok, just start again and make sure you get to 10.

It’s easier than riding a bike and will benefit your mental health and your happiness. Aim to do it once a day. I usually do it while brushing my teeth or while waiting for my work computer to start up. But if you can’t, just doing it once is already more than never.

If you get bored of doing this, the next level up you can start to focus on where you feel the breath the most. You will notice this changes, sometimes it will be your nose, other times your stomach, other times your guts. The short check in with your body will move your focus away from being stuck in your head, to settle your focus in your body. It not only helps you, but you will notice how much easier it is to deal with matters and the people around you. You will be happier, just by counting your breaths. I dare you to try it.

man wearing sunglasses meditating in front of a city skyline

More of such tips & posts are on my site lifecoachnika.com

Three ways to be more mindful during the day

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Most of us are running around every day – some even literally. One of the hardest parts of being mindful is not that just our mind is full of thoughts, racing up and down a mental to do list, bringing up worries (that most of the time we don’t know where they came from) and sometimes really random thoughts (so random we don’t know what to do with them). But also life seems to be getting more and more hectic. Not just internal thoughts and feelings can get too much, but also external triggers. Work, phone, email, cars – the pace gets faster and faster and we are expected to change along with it. Finding time to meditate even once a day is a real achievement.

The faster everything is around us and inside of us, the better it is for us to be more mindful so we can see and hear through all the noise and actually get clarity on what’s really important. So how do we do that without it being just another task on our to-do list? How do we become mindful without it even becoming too much?

Here are three tips I have to slip in some mindfulness during the day:

  1. Washing Your Hands

It’s generally something you should do a couple of times a day so might as well use the occasion to be a little mindful. For example – and easy way is just to ask yourself: How does the water feel? Or you can walk yourself through the process – talk about each thing you are doing. For example “Now I turn on the tap – the water feels cool – my hands are wet, it feels nice”. The goal is just to spend a moment in the moment. It will stop your mind from racing, force you to take a break from all the running thoughts. It will calm the mind even for just a second.

  1. Waiting for Transport

If you are a public commuter – there is bound to be a time where you will wait. If it’s to cross the road, or waiting for the bus, while you wait stop and ask yourself “How am I?”. And then ask yourself: “But really, how am I?”. Get to the core – don’t stop at “fine” or “good”, force yourself to actually say a full sentence. “I am good because I slept well” or “I feel fine but I seem a little anxious”. You don’t have to explain why you feel a certain way. The goal is to touch base with your feelings. Even if you aren’t a public commuter – I bet there are times where you wait for the elevator, or people to enter in the building before you, any chance you notice yourself reaching for your phone – just check in. It will literally take you a bare millisecond and cost you nothing. The gains though, are getting in touch with your current state so you can function better.

  1. While Walking

At least once a day, when walking to the fridge or walking to the bathroom, you will find yourself in some sort of motion. Tell yourself every time you find yourself going somewhere, to count your breaths in and out till you get to 6. If you want, take it to 8 or 10. Whichever works best for you. Take a deep breath in count 1, take a breath out count 2, and so on. You’ll notice yourself become more conscious of your breathing but also instantly become more calm. Side effect may be your shoulders dropping, and tension leaving your body. It’s a simple trick to get an aligned mind and body.

You don’t have to do the items in that combination. You can ask yourself how are you while washing your hands, or be more mindful of what it is like to sip a cup of coffee. Goal is to find what works for you, so these strategies become a part of your unique routine. It should come easy. Do what you can and it doesn’t have to be every day or every time you do it. Just once is better than never. The bare minimum is already a huge step in the right direction.

For more tips – follow my blog nikafiguringitout.wordpress.com

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woman walking in green countryside

Mindfulness Outside of Meditation

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Although I meditate every morning – I often struggle to integrate mindfulness in my every day life. I set aside 15 minutes every morning to meditate and although that is already a good stride in the right direction, the mindfulness remains enclosed in those 15 minutes. 5 minutes later, although I am in a better mood usually, I have lost all the momentum of being present in the moment and am already swarmed by daily stresses such as  my task list and plans for the day. How do we manage to keep the mindfulness going in the day? How do we make it a part of our lives rather than another item we just get done at a certain point of time in the day? Here are some helpful tips I have found:

dock on lack at sunrise with forest in background

When ever I am waiting somewhere, I take six conscious breaths. We tend to wait more than we would actually like to admit, for the elevator, for people to get into the bus before us, any situation you find yourself with nothing to do, fill it with mindful breaths. Count each breath as you breathe in count one, breathe out count two. It keeps your mind preoccupied on counting. Count till you get to six. Boom, you did it, you were mindful. If you still have time and space, do another round.

Many people find meditating in the shower very helpful. Usually the shower is a place where thoughts can roam freely, perhaps too freely and make it therefore hard to be in the moment. It is a good place though to take a second to just consider how the water feels on your skin, on your head, on your feet. Just asking yourself: How does it feel to be in this shower? makes you more aware of your state. Perhaps when you ask yourself that question, you will find yourself not only relax more, but enjoy the shower just a little more. Rather than a task, it becomes another place of harmony.

This one is probably my favorite. I’m usually stressing from one place to the other listening to music, this one is easily integrated into my everyday habits. When you walk, consider for a second how your feet are touching the ground. For me its just repeating in my head: Heel, roll, ball, toes. Just thinking for a second of how my feet touch the ground makes me feel more grounded and in the moment for a second, I let my mind drift away as far as it wants after that.

Its just about taking one moment out of the day to touch base with the actual present. We’re often so lost in our minds, we are always somewhere else rather than where we actually are. Find a way it works for you and feel free to share your tips by commenting below!

Find our more on nikafiguringitout.wordpress.com for more tips for every day life

Why more Mindfulness should be your New Years Resolution

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The New Year usually comes with new intentions. Everyone’s intentions may all be different but they all have one thing in common – change something for the better. There is a common quality – a sense of wanting to improve our lives or ourselves. While many people focus on losing weight, going to the gym more often or reading more books, I would advise you to consider meditating more to create more mindfulness in your life. The reason being, mediation is the key to general improvement and will support any other intentions or resolutions you might have and here’s why.

The reason we need resolutions is because so much of lives are driven by factors outside of our control that we feel the need to put ourselves in the driving seat. We don’t go to the gym because we don’t have enough free time or are tired. We can’t lose weight because we are driven by inner impulses to eat fast food. Take control of your life by being mindful through a short meditation. It will allow you to take a step back and enable you to see things more objectively and from a different perspective. For a short moment – just observe your breath. This will detach you from your thoughts and feelings (such as – I don’t feel like doing to the gym or I really need that cupcake to feel better) and take a moment to reflect. It will give you a moment to see your life with a sense of openness. Rather than being stuck in the current moment, you will be able to take a step back and see what really enables you and what disables you in achieving your goals. You will move from being reactive to being proactive being able to steer your life in the direction you want it.

Commit to meditating a short time each day and you will find other pieces fall into place. You can do it by simply taking a few conscious breaths before entering a meeting room, hopping into the bus on your commute home or opening up the next email. We tend to get sucked into the moment forgetting that there is a bigger picture to us all. By being mindful, you will be empowered to be a better you.

Go on. Give it a go and let me know how you proceed!

To find out more about meditation and other daily practices – follow nikafiguringitout.wordpress.com

4 Misconceptions About Meditation

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The other day I was asked to teach a 30min mindfulness session to a corporate company that promotes wellness. As usual in my session, I start with an introduction about what the session will be about, how long it will be and what I expect of people.

It strikes me every time how people react with surprise when I tell them how the session will take place. It seems that people have expectations of what meditation should be, and how it is actually practiced. The following four misconceptions are the ones generally met with surprise:

1) You cannot move during mediation.
Yes you can, if you feel discomfort or tension, please do move! Meditation is not here to punish you. You are a living, breathing human being. Your heart beats, your blood pumps, you are not stone. You can move.

2) You have to sit – cross-legged and upright.
No, not at all. People tend to react with great astonishment when I say that during mediation, you can even lie down. Just make sure your upper body is aligned as it helps with the breathing. An aligned body means an aligned breath. Other than that, be as comfortable as you like. Some people find cross-legged comfortable and others don’t. How can you focus on breathing if you are in pain? Sit however is comfortable for you. Heck, I sometimes even walk when meditating. You do you.

3) You have to have your eyes closed.
Sometimes I mediate with my eyes open. I like to just gaze down and focus on a point in front of me. At times I just don’t feel like it, and I don’t know why. Perhaps I am not in the right mindset or don’t feel comfortable enough in my surroundings. But the point is that you just don’t get distracted. You can gaze where you want as you want as long as you have a soft focus and don’t wonder around with your eyes to get distracted.

4) You have to fully emerged in the meditation.
People tend to look at me with utter surprise when I tell then they can drink during meditation. It’s best to have a cup of tea with you or a water. Sometimes we sit there and notice: Damn, I am perished or hungry. These are just your bodily needs and that is fine. You can drink anytime, you can pop out of the meditation and join back in – it should be to your comfort at your time and your pace.

Mediation is your time for you. Do it so it feels like its benefiting you and do it with no judgement. Its about accepting whatever comes up in that moment and not about punishment or perfection.

man and woman meditating on yoga mats in studio

To learn more about my services or about general topics in life I stumble on – follow my blog on nikafiguringitout.wordpress.com

The paradox around the word “Mindful”

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The word mindful seems to indicate two things – that’s it’s about your mind and it’s about it being full just by the nature of how the word is constructed. It seems to mean an exercise where you keep your mind full. Where mindfulness is actually about the opposite.

child meditating

I believe that leads to a lot of misconceptions about mindfulness. It makes it seem like a brain focused exercise. Yet mindfulness actually focuses on making sure you are aligned in your spirit, mind and body. It takes the focus that is in your brain and brings it away from going in circles. Which it tends to do, since we are so focused on our cognitive capabilities. It has a lot to do with the way society is built these days, you would think we are a mass of minds. Our times are known as the “Age of Information’ – the driving force behind it being the internet, bringing us newer and faster forms of entertainment, commerce, research, work, and communication. Most jobs only focus on using your intelligence, education is set up to focus on your brain power – skills when it comes to your body and spirit are less asked for and wanted. It is natural almost to think that we are only minds and only needed for our knowledge.

But what people tend to forget is that your mind is only as good as your body. You cannot think straight if you are in pain, you cannot be logical if you are suffering from mental distortions, there are so many elements that impact us as a package that we are – mind, body and spirit (some call it soul). So how do you get out of your head and better connected with your body? Mindfulness. Because what mindfulness means is being aware of your mind taking over, and moving this focus to the other part that make you a whole.

One exercise is for example scanning your body from the top of your head down to your toes – seeing what areas may house tension and what other areas feel tension free. It’s a way of getting in tune with your body we tend to neglect. I do this every day and find it surprising over and over again which areas of my body feel tension. Sometime pain arises that I am not even sure how I managed to get a good night’s sleep. It is scary how much of our body and its signals we tend to push aside to enable our minds to deliver. An important thing to remember is that aligned body means an aligned mind.

Another exercise is even more simple – it’s just asking yourself how you feel. And not stopping at “good”  or “fine” – those terms do not suffice. There is no benefit of lying to yourself. Check in with your spirit by making your emotions aware to yourself. Sometimes we find we are doing much better than we thought, which leads to more happiness and sometimes things arise we know we need to work on or address so we can be happy in the long run. Remember not to be judgmental or to force yourself to feel any different. Often just being there for yourself and acknowledging your feelings will do wonders for your spirit.

So be mindful in the sense of what it truly means – being aware of yourself, your body, mind and spirit.

Read more about every day topics and tips on how to manage life at nikafiguringitout.wordpress.com

 

 

Everyone Can Meditate – Here’s Why

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When I tell people that I am a meditation coach, often I get the response: “Oh I’ve tried meditation, I can’t do it – I just can’t get myself to have an empty mind or to focus”.

I am always perplexed by that statement. Meditation is literally just breathing and noticing that you are breathing. It is that simple. Everyone breaths – how can people not breathe. One thing is if you tell me: “I’ve tried burping the alphabet and I can’t do it” or “I’ve tried rolling my tongue and I can’t do it”. Those are actually difficult things – but meditating is something we all do, you just may not know it.

The problem is many people believe meditation is this state where you can sit for hours, cross legged on the floor, saying OM and not having a thought in the world. That – to be honest – does sound nice and a little bit painful. It’s like running – most of us can walk, some of us run, and others run marathons up a hill. Meditation is the walking part.

The whole premise of meditation is about being present. About being there in the moment with yourself and learning to accept your thoughts and feelings to the point where they don’t distract you from simply breathing. That’s it. And we can all do that.

We all do it, you might not notice. It’s when you are watching a scary movie and to calm yourself you breathe deeply. Or when you are at the dentist trying to breathe and take your mind off what’s going on in your mouth. Its when you are eating a piece of dessert, and you focus on scooping it up in the spoon and enjoying each bite. So much of everyday life is meditating. Don’t make it a new task or new objective – you have enough of those. Be aware of the moments where you take a step back from just functioning and focus on yourself. Tell yourself “huh – I am meditating”. You just might come to realize you are a pro.

Follow me on nikafiguringitout.wordpress.com for more tips for every day life

Meditating In Meetings

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Meditation in a studio can be difficult. Sometimes the person next to you is breathing healthy, we hear a door close or are interrupted by someone moving in their cushion. Meditation itself is difficult – it’s a practice, almost like training for a marathon.

on, some days you run with ease, other days you can’t get through 3 miles and the training never stops. It’s a continuous effort for the rest of your life, if you are willing to embark on it. And we all do it for the positive side effects including increased health. You can say while running is for the body, meditation is for the mind.

The goal is of course, to be at peace with your thoughts and feelings and to regard them with no judgement. Its effects should reach outside of that studio with the heavy breathing person. So how does this work? If its hard enough in a studio, how could it possibly work in every day life? I may practice meditation for the rest of my days, but how can I increase its effects in my daily business? Luckily there are some exercises you can introduce into your life, without having to be in the studio –  which is what I will share with you.

meditating while in office meeting

One of my favourite exercises is tracing your fingers. I do this in meetings when people overwhelm me or I notice I am getting agitated: Under the table, with your left had, trace up each one of your fingers. Breath in as you trace up, and breathe out when you get to the palm of your hand. Do that for each finger. Focus on how you breathe as you trace your fingers. This shifts your focus from the content, by moving it inward and diverting your attention from the meeting to your breathing. So many times in life we forget to breathe, and just focusing on breathing in and out is not enough – this action drives your focus and makes you take a step back. It’s ok if you zone out for a bit – the exercise takes no longer than a couple of minutes and has stopped me from letting people know my true emotional state or even better – has stopped me for letting it out on them.

Another one I like to do is under the table. I concentrate on breathing in as I roll my feet to the balls of my feet, and breathe out as a move to the heel of my feet. I usually do one foot at a time. It has helped me deal with my anxiety by focusing on the movement and the breathing a long with it. If you find yourself the type of person that often shifts around or fidgets easily, this is a great way to feel grounded and focuses. Plus its not a large movement so people wont notice and it allows you to still take notes and seem present. No one will know you are taking a moment to step back from the challenging elements of the world.

Life is beautiful, but sometimes it can get hard and then on top of that, we tend to throw meetings and deadlines to make it more challenging. Meditation can help with that. It takes little things and little steps, but the benefit you’ll get cannot be compared to the little training you have to put in.