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Mindfulness

How to Start Meditating during COVID-19 Lock Down

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Lock down – also known as the best time to start meditating. The induced anxiety of not knowing how this will turn out, how this will affect you, if your job is stable and and and – the thoughts and fears induced by this new situation don’t even being to cover the amount of anxiety we have toward the fear of the virus itself. Its hard to cope, and some of us find ourselves not being able to stop talking about it. You may know it by now, or if not, the best way to calm your mind is through meditation.

The idea of meditation is to focus your mind on either a particular thing like the breath, on a particular thought – like loving & kindness. Which does mean, not focusing on any Covid-19 thoughts. This may seem hard and might require some energy, but its a first and healthy step in the right direction. All your thoughts on this topic won’t get you anywhere but digging yourself more and more into your own anxiety. You need to be forced to step out. Here is a simple and easy way to do it, and a great introduction into a meditation:

Sit, stand, walk, whichever is most comfortable but make sure you are alone in your space.

Count each breath in, count each breath out. Do it till you get to 10. If you feel you need more, do it again.

That’s it! You have just meditated! If you lose count, that is ok, just start again and make sure you get to 10.

It’s easier than riding a bike and will benefit your mental health and your happiness. Aim to do it once a day. I usually do it while brushing my teeth or while waiting for my work computer to start up. But if you can’t, just doing it once is already more than never.

If you get bored of doing this, the next level up you can start to focus on where you feel the breath the most. You will notice this changes, sometimes it will be your nose, other times your stomach, other times your guts. The short check in with your body will move your focus away from being stuck in your head, to settle your focus in your body. It not only helps you, but you will notice how much easier it is to deal with matters and the people around you. You will be happier, just by counting your breaths. I dare you to try it.

man wearing sunglasses meditating in front of a city skyline

More of such tips & posts are on my site lifecoachnika.com

The Importance of Meditation in These Trying Times

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It’s a scary time to be alive right now, as the coronavirus continues to spread across the globe. With bad news coming in almost on a regular basis (and with no way to release that frustration due to social distancing), it’s easy to let the stress and anxiety compound. This makes meditation all the more crucial in these trying times, particularly as a way to take care of your mental health and help you survive what is shaping up to be the new normal for the foreseeable future. 

Helping yourself to help others

While it’s important to be kind to one another and look out for our neighbors as much as possible, it’s equally important to extend that kindness to ourselves.

Meditation may seem like a small act in the face of everything else that’s going on, but taking care of yourself in this way can also provide you with a community of people who are also trying their best to keep calm amidst the chaos. This is why pop star Lizzo streamed a live meditation on Instagram a few days ago in lieu of her cancelled show. Her meditation session focused on helping people clear their minds in order to see the ways that they can help — “the one thing we will always have is togetherness,” she reminded her viewers. 

Indeed, clearing your mind through meditation is crucial to help you sift through all the noise and see how you can incite positive change into your community. At the very least, it’s a lot better than refreshing your phone every other minute or so out of fear. 

Making your practice sustainable

Since the madness won’t come to an end any time soon, it’s important to really make an effort to incorporate meditation as part of your daily routine. Our post entitled ‘4 Misconceptions About Meditation’ emphasizes that you can move around, sit comfortably, and even grab a drink of water while you meditate — what’s important is that you really focus on taking that time out for yourself. 

 If you’re someone who prefers to sweat it out when you’re stressed, meditation should be a very important part of recovery. While many people will turn to exercise as a way to de-stress, Parsley Health suggests that to beat brain fog exercise should also be accompanied with active tune-ins to provide your body that much-needed balance. Overworking your body may end up making you even more frazzled and exhausted in the long run. It’s especially important to listen to your body and give it the TLC it needs.

It’s also good to know that your body can benefit from a meditation break faster than you realize. As more and more people are looking to adopt remote work, business coach Shannon Houde highlights that sometimes having a three-minute reset is all you need to power through the rest of your day. 

As mentioned at the beginning of the article, stressing yourself out and panicking won’t do you and your community any favors. The chaos all around us is something we have to take as a given; the question is, how will we deal with it? While we’re all figuring out how to adjust to what might be the new normal (at least for now), meditation can help give you that clear headspace that you sorely need. 

woman meditating with eyes closed and hand over heart

Conquering The Obstacles To Success!

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man jumping up crumbling steps

As we migrate on our voyage to tackling our goals and life accomplishments–it’s only normal that fear arises in the midst of an unforeseen obstacles. Anyone that is on a mission can testify just how crippling fear can be; which can damper our progress and bring our momentum to a halt–resulting in destitution and lack of confidence. Most of us can attest to fearing the unknown the ramifications of the possible failure we’re almost guaranteed to experience. But, let’s take a moment to understand what we’re actually fearing, and what if I were to tell you that there a way to conquer the obstacles to your success?  

In the beginning, we come up with our ideas and visions for the week, month, year, and from there we determine if our goals are short term or long term, high or low priority. The truth of the matter is, we all go about accomplishing our goals differently. Some of us research every aspect and understand the many components of our goal–this is to familiarize ourselves with the mission. Meanwhile, others of us may write it down or create vision boards, etc. With all of our plans and ideas we forget to become specific with how we achieve those goals.  

For instance, when a runner decides that they want to run a marathon, they don’t just show up to the marathon and run. To complete a marathon successfully, one must first condition themselves. Specifically, they work out every day, train their body to endure the distance, learn how to work through pain, learn how to listen to the body, and when to slow down. Thus, marathon runners make it look easy, and that’s only because they’ve done their homework and prepared.  

How do I create a solid strategy?  

“Willpower by itself is not enough. If we want to achieve lasting change, we must have an effective strategy.” – Tony Robbins 

When executing any plan it’s helpful to plan all the way until the end. As we’re planning it’s important to take our time, because this gives us time to truly contemplate every move and countermove. Therefore, every countermove prepares us for possible failure (outcomes).  

Why do I need to prepare for failure?  

Understand me when I say this: desiring to achieve your goals with optimism and positivity is very noble, but every plan has set backs and parts of your plan will fail. Let’s get comfortable with that idea now, because the sooner we can come to terms with this–the sooner we can have a strategy for any and all outcomes. As a result, when we fail, we won’t fear it, we’ll be prepared for whatever comes our way, and this is how we learn to expand ourselves.  

Why would Anyone expect failure? Shouldn’t I expect success?  

I would like to dispel a myth about failure–It’s not negative in nature. Failure is a learning opportunity to gauge to see where your strategy is measuring up or not. Of course, it’s healthy to expect success. However, we must always be ready and open for our plans to hit the wall and fall apart. Any successful person will gladly admit that it typically doesn’t work the first go around and that’s where we define our character.  

I implore you to observe billionaire, tv show host, producer, and actress Oprah Winfrey. When Winfrey created the OWN network the ratings were terrible–in the beginning. The media dragged her name through the mud, and she ended up having to restructure the television programming and go back to the drawing board several times–until she found the correct formula.  

The correct formula ended up being drama series specifically for African American audiences–thanks to the help of Tyler Perry. Winfrey did however keep her original “Super Soul Sundays” which is aimed at the spiritual seeker who enjoyed her interviews about spirituality and enlightenment. 

As a result, the Oprah Winfrey Network has made serious strides since its inception and continues to go above and beyond the media speculation and gossip. Failure has been a major part of Oprah Winfrey’s network, but she has proven that failure happens and when it does, we can pick ourselves up.  

What Can I expect After I create a solid Strategy?  

After we’ve created and begin to execute a solid strategy, we can now take BOLD action with confidence and strong will power. We will be more assured of our actions, because we’ve already done the ground work. Naturally we’ll follow our instinct and we’ll see the holes in our plans early on, and this is solely due to you being highly critical of our strategy.  

As expressed, overcoming the challenges and road blocks to our success can create uncertainty. We’ve established that creating plans without a strong strategy won’t garner the best results of our effort, and if we’re willing to have the courage to brave our failures and learn from them–our lives can ultimately be transformed. 

The Aftermath…  

In an article from Psychology Today written by Dr. Theo Tsaousides, PH.D. concludes that never pursuing our goals means not giving them a chance to materialize. The fear of failure keeps you safe, but it keeps you small. Tsaousides states that avoiding the pursuit doesn’t allow you to try new things, expose you to different scenarios, and it doesn’t expand you–allowing you to see what you’re capable of. Tsaousides believes that we if we’re able to identify our fears to failure–we can most definitely overcome them. It’s far better to fail miserably than hiding from the possibilities.  

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Three ways to be more mindful during the day

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Most of us are running around every day – some even literally. One of the hardest parts of being mindful is not that just our mind is full of thoughts, racing up and down a mental to do list, bringing up worries (that most of the time we don’t know where they came from) and sometimes really random thoughts (so random we don’t know what to do with them). But also life seems to be getting more and more hectic. Not just internal thoughts and feelings can get too much, but also external triggers. Work, phone, email, cars – the pace gets faster and faster and we are expected to change along with it. Finding time to meditate even once a day is a real achievement.

The faster everything is around us and inside of us, the better it is for us to be more mindful so we can see and hear through all the noise and actually get clarity on what’s really important. So how do we do that without it being just another task on our to-do list? How do we become mindful without it even becoming too much?

Here are three tips I have to slip in some mindfulness during the day:

  1. Washing Your Hands

It’s generally something you should do a couple of times a day so might as well use the occasion to be a little mindful. For example – and easy way is just to ask yourself: How does the water feel? Or you can walk yourself through the process – talk about each thing you are doing. For example “Now I turn on the tap – the water feels cool – my hands are wet, it feels nice”. The goal is just to spend a moment in the moment. It will stop your mind from racing, force you to take a break from all the running thoughts. It will calm the mind even for just a second.

  1. Waiting for Transport

If you are a public commuter – there is bound to be a time where you will wait. If it’s to cross the road, or waiting for the bus, while you wait stop and ask yourself “How am I?”. And then ask yourself: “But really, how am I?”. Get to the core – don’t stop at “fine” or “good”, force yourself to actually say a full sentence. “I am good because I slept well” or “I feel fine but I seem a little anxious”. You don’t have to explain why you feel a certain way. The goal is to touch base with your feelings. Even if you aren’t a public commuter – I bet there are times where you wait for the elevator, or people to enter in the building before you, any chance you notice yourself reaching for your phone – just check in. It will literally take you a bare millisecond and cost you nothing. The gains though, are getting in touch with your current state so you can function better.

  1. While Walking

At least once a day, when walking to the fridge or walking to the bathroom, you will find yourself in some sort of motion. Tell yourself every time you find yourself going somewhere, to count your breaths in and out till you get to 6. If you want, take it to 8 or 10. Whichever works best for you. Take a deep breath in count 1, take a breath out count 2, and so on. You’ll notice yourself become more conscious of your breathing but also instantly become more calm. Side effect may be your shoulders dropping, and tension leaving your body. It’s a simple trick to get an aligned mind and body.

You don’t have to do the items in that combination. You can ask yourself how are you while washing your hands, or be more mindful of what it is like to sip a cup of coffee. Goal is to find what works for you, so these strategies become a part of your unique routine. It should come easy. Do what you can and it doesn’t have to be every day or every time you do it. Just once is better than never. The bare minimum is already a huge step in the right direction.

For more tips – follow my blog nikafiguringitout.wordpress.com

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woman walking in green countryside

Guided meditation: The Safe House

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Everyone wants to have a sense that they can be safe. Secure. Protected. They want a place where they can unwind and completely relax. Exhale the day away. At times though, the events of the day, the hustle, the bustle, the conflict, the fortitude, the commute, can rob us of our joy, our sense of safety in the present moment. We have all been affected somehow by current events. The number one thing we take for granted, rely on, our health, is threatened in some way, and as a result we must compromise everything- our connection to each other, our community, even our routines. Today, Monday morning, March 16, 2020, you could not rely on that traffic to the office. Or the appointments you made last week. For most of us, that didn’t happen, and we got, what we claim we always wanted-to stay home. 

Since staying home does not feel like a reward but a grounding, a punishment almost. We are not allowed to do our jobs the way we are accustomed to doing them. This is new. Unprecedented. What is wonderful about the mind is that the imagination resides within it. A child with a vivid imagination is able to dream themselves out of stressful situations. It is why the children are the strongest of us all. There is no limit to it. When we use it, it opens the door to not only increased awareness to what, we, ourselves like to dream but the enjoyment of the moment that you are completely or presently in. It is now, always. Now. So, now, I would like to invite you all to imagine you are standing on top of a mountain. Look up at the sky. What time of day is it? What do you see? What are the shape of the clouds, if there are any? And anything else you can think of. Now slowly lower your chin and look straight ahead of you? Where are you? The forest, the desert? By the sea? Take in the sight before you. When you look further down you notice a path winding down your mountain. Take a step and begin to follow it. Take in everything you hear as you step one foot in front of the other. Can you hear any animals, birds? Insects? A little farther up ahead you see a small animal walking down the path. There is something about it that attracts your attention. Your chief desire is to follow it. 

forest by a hill with snow

The path winds deeper down the side of the mountain. You put a little pep in your step to keep up with the tiny creature shuffling in front of you. No matter where you are, the surrounding area begins to change, feeling more familiar. Scents you remember from when you were young creep up into your nostrils. Or a voice, in the distance, of someone you love. You’ve been mindlessly following the animal up until now and then you realize it is bringing you to a house nearby. In a few steps it begins to come into view. Pause and take in the view before you. What does it look like? What is it made out of? Is it well kept? Take a few steps closer. Reach into your pocket and pull out a key. Twirl it around in your hands for a moment. What is the design of the key? What metal is it made from? Is it on a chain or tether of some kind? Look toward the house again and walk up to the front door. How to you feel? This is your house. Use your key to open the door. 

No one knows about this place but you. This house has been waiting for you to let a little light in. You are safe here. Everything you see you have put there, with your imagination. Fancy that? What do you see? Take a few moments to notice what the room you are in looks like. Go over and sit down somewhere, if there is a place to sit. Look around. Pick a comfortable spot to relax. Your favorite section of the room. The light is perfect. Take a few moments to notice your breath. The room is just as you like it to be. You are in complete and total comfort. Breathe in. And out. One more time, in, and out. 

You hear a small rustling somewhere in the room and remember the tiny creature who led you to your humble abode. It is eager and wants to be near you. Look next to you to find it has been there with you the entire time. It begs to be picked up. Since it is so adorable you have no problem doing this, and with joy you gently hug it to your heart. It lets out an exclamation of glee. You notice in its eyes that it wants to tell you something. It gently whispers in your ear. Take a moment to really listen with your heart to what your teeny friend is trying to tell you. What does it say? After you’ve heard it the animal jumps off of your lap and scurries toward the door. You take this as a sign that it is time to leave. Gently rise from our seat and begin to walk towards the door. How do you feel? What, again, did you just hear the animal whisper to you? As you take in the sight of your safe house, open the door, and know you may return whenever you please, when you are alone, in your time of need. Look back out the front door, step out and close the door behind you. 

See the path back up the mountain in front of you, as inviting now as it was the first time you saw it, for now you have memories to bring back with you. The animal is eager to make the journey with you. You follow it the way you came. Take in your surroundings once again. How much time has passed, if any? How does the sky seem to you now? What is the temperature where you are? Are there many trees or wide open spaces? As you walk back up the mountain with the greatest of ease, you notice that, somehow you have lost track of your animal, but that’s alright, you remember where you are going and each step seems lighter than the last. You make it to the top effortlessly. Take another look around at the landscape before you, opening your arms wide, feeling the energy of the place, the lightness, the power of it. Notice the breeze, the smells and sounds. Notice any sensations in the body or any thoughts racing through the mind. This is a magical place. It is yours, and it is of you and with you at all times, ready to be visited whenever you need to feel safe, and home.

snow covered ground and sunlight
river running by forest and hill

7 Benefits of Meditation During Pregnancy

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Pregnancy can be an anxious time for parents-to-be, especially for first timers. Even if you already have children, a new baby adds on loads of work. Worry, stress, and mood swings are all common and normal, but wouldn’t you want to relieve some of this anxiety? One important aspect for a smooth pregnancy is the ability to let go and release, in both a physical and mental sense. Remaining confident in your body and allowing fear to dissipate also calls for a more desired labor process. Meditation can help starting day one of your pregnancy and if you are a regular practitioner before that, then good for you! Even if you are near term or post-partum, it will only assist in whatever situation you may be experiencing. Listed below are some the benefits you will reap from taking some quiet time for your body, mind and growing child.

meditation while pregnant

1. Release fear, anxiety and stress

Even if you aren’t pregnant, this is a good reason to meditate. Over time, a consistent meditation practice helps quiet the mind and reduce stress. These pent-up emotions are known to prolong labor which in turn will affect your mood and stamina during delivery. It’s perfectly normal to feel scared and burdened, but it doesn’t hurt to lower the levels of these feelings. The more empowered and confident you feel in your body and mind, the better you will be able to navigate during the labor process in every aspect.

2. Connect to your baby in your changing body

There is literally another person growing inside of you. This applies major changes to your body, but this is also an important time to begin cultivating a bond between you and the magic inside of you. In my opinion, one of the most interesting things during pregnancy is the idea that there is another being with chakras inside of you, meaning you are carrying two sets of chakras. Meditating during this time helps you with aligning to yourself and your growing fetus. Right now, you are one with your child, and the time will come when s/he arrives in a physical form. Taking the time to connect with your baby while s/he is in the womb only calls for a greater connection on the physical plane.

3. Take moments for self-care

Savor this time for yourself now before your bundle of joy arrives. Of course, you will enjoy your child once s/he is out of the womb, but it can be a little more difficult to fit self-care routines and moments of solitude into your schedule.  Most of your time will soon be spent tending to baby as opposed to caring for yourself. While you have this opportunity, meditate to some soothing music or in a quiet space. Soon, your meditations will be accompanied by the background noises of baby cries.

4. Sleep better

Between the physical discomfort and mental struggle, it’s challenging to find adequate rest. Meditating will allow for a better sleep and over time may help with the constant thoughts that keep you up at night. When you take the time to practice quieting the mind, over time this act becomes easier and easier to achieve. The goal is not to entirely dissipate these thoughts, but rather to observe and notice. Eventually you will feel more at ease with whatever is going through your head, thus inducing more relaxation.

5. Help prepare for labor in a positive manner

Labor is not only a physical endurance, but a lot of it is mental. The ability to let go and release plays a huge role in the delivery process. Affirmations are also very helpful in your meditation practice and can be used as tools during the delivery process. When you feel during the contractions there is too much sensation and it seems unbearable, circling back to your deep, intuitive state and repeating affirmations to yourself will allow you to remember that the labor process is temporary and you are fully capable of birthing your child in the way you desire. Some examples of affirmations include, “My body is strong. My body is healthy. I can birth my baby.” It’s always empowering to create your own personal affirmations as well.

6. Lower the risk of postpartum depression

When you have more of a sense of control over your thoughts, this skill tends to translate into everything else you are doing (including childbirth). Although it may be tough at first to meditate, with a consistent practice you will begin seeing results sooner than later. You will realize you are in control of your thoughts and feelings and you have full power in how you deliver and raise your child. Some things are beyond our control, but for the most part how we react plays a big part in the outcome as well. Meditation is a way to come back to center if you may start feeling thoughts of depression and sadness during any point. It is a tool we may use to self-reflect and gain wisdom from our everyday lives.

7. Develop sustainable healthy habits to increase longevity

Like a cascade effect, incorporating one healthy habit leads to another. Meditating does not cost (unless you join a group session at a studio or center where you may need to pay) and doesn’t take much effort. It may seem very difficult at first but understand that this is a process of turning inward and learning more about yourself. No need to take it too seriously and allow yourself to enjoy the process. You’ll find that a clearer mind will encourage you to be more positive in thought and action.

Now that you are aware of some of the benefits of meditating, you may be thinking where do you start? Find an area in your space that is clear of clutter, and preferably quiet. Wear loose comfortable clothing. Sit comfortably on your sitting bones on the floor, or if you are in a chair make sure your feet lie flat on the floor. Maintain a tall spine, allowing your shoulders to relax away from your ears and in line with your hips. Close your eyes and begin to observe your breath. This is a good starting point and can be continued for a minute or two, even up to twenty. There are many different types of meditations so take some time to research and explore. Sit in your own personal space, join a group, download a meditation app or open a guided practice on YouTube. You’ll thank yourself, and your baby will too.

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Mindfulness Outside of Meditation

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Although I meditate every morning – I often struggle to integrate mindfulness in my every day life. I set aside 15 minutes every morning to meditate and although that is already a good stride in the right direction, the mindfulness remains enclosed in those 15 minutes. 5 minutes later, although I am in a better mood usually, I have lost all the momentum of being present in the moment and am already swarmed by daily stresses such as  my task list and plans for the day. How do we manage to keep the mindfulness going in the day? How do we make it a part of our lives rather than another item we just get done at a certain point of time in the day? Here are some helpful tips I have found:

dock on lack at sunrise with forest in background

When ever I am waiting somewhere, I take six conscious breaths. We tend to wait more than we would actually like to admit, for the elevator, for people to get into the bus before us, any situation you find yourself with nothing to do, fill it with mindful breaths. Count each breath as you breathe in count one, breathe out count two. It keeps your mind preoccupied on counting. Count till you get to six. Boom, you did it, you were mindful. If you still have time and space, do another round.

Many people find meditating in the shower very helpful. Usually the shower is a place where thoughts can roam freely, perhaps too freely and make it therefore hard to be in the moment. It is a good place though to take a second to just consider how the water feels on your skin, on your head, on your feet. Just asking yourself: How does it feel to be in this shower? makes you more aware of your state. Perhaps when you ask yourself that question, you will find yourself not only relax more, but enjoy the shower just a little more. Rather than a task, it becomes another place of harmony.

This one is probably my favorite. I’m usually stressing from one place to the other listening to music, this one is easily integrated into my everyday habits. When you walk, consider for a second how your feet are touching the ground. For me its just repeating in my head: Heel, roll, ball, toes. Just thinking for a second of how my feet touch the ground makes me feel more grounded and in the moment for a second, I let my mind drift away as far as it wants after that.

Its just about taking one moment out of the day to touch base with the actual present. We’re often so lost in our minds, we are always somewhere else rather than where we actually are. Find a way it works for you and feel free to share your tips by commenting below!

Find our more on nikafiguringitout.wordpress.com for more tips for every day life

Whistle Where You Work

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The definition of going ‘to the office’ in 2020 has many designations. Today, remote occupations seem to be more desirable for the millennial jobseeker than cubicle life. You’ve seen the ads. And I’m sure you’ve made a meditation out of picturing yourself without the constraints of rent, family or fear of flying. I say this from experience, for I, too, swoon when I see a job posting with a very comfortable person on top of a mountain with a laptop, getting paid it seems, to live their dream. The dream is never as strong as it is when I am stuck in traffic on my way to the studio on a Monday morning, screaming the Gayatri Mantra in an attempt to practice conjuring patience. The driver’s seat becomes my desk, the picture out the window ever morphing at varying speeds. We are all at the mercy of the world around us, its congestion and race against time. We ask “why” and trudge along, attempting to be mindful in the process. This begs the question: how can our practice, as teachers and students, evolve in the new decade when we are bombarded with every-day challenges and the competition of our app-heavy world? 

  • book tree fairy
  • yoga teacher in tree by pool
  • the words living flowers in script writing

At the tail-end of my generation (80’s babies are still millennials right?), I have seen computers evolve and shrink, cell phones replace pens, one thousand books become accessible on a single device, organic food shipped in dry ice, and virtual relationships take precedent over real ones. I, myself, lead a virtual life. My hours are erratic. I write and research from anywhere USA. I mostly exercise at home through a variety of phone apps and YouTube, replacing the VHS’s from when I was a kid. I’ve always been this way, preferring solitary self-betterment instead of leaving my comfort to sweat with others in a warehouse across town. Like most people, my schedule is something that changes daily. Yet, despite it all, I have chosen to spend a huge chuck of my time in the world physically in front of people, driving to gyms and theatres teaching people how to breathe, stretch, and Om. And though I love it, I wonder how much longer I can do it. 

It is exhausting, time consuming, and isn’t very environmentally effective being a yoga teacher today, most of the time, especially considering how much gas is burned between jobs. Usually, we teach at more than one location either by hustling or simply being invited by the people you inevitably meet. The commute is real, and it can be exhausting and challenging to manage our time effectively to lead spacious, unhurried 

lives. Not to mention the time it takes away from our family and home life. The time it takes to walk, bike or train it to the next teaching engagement can be your daily adventure or horror, revive or drain us. Is it worth it? How do you cope with it? As long as there is a screen and an internet connection, the commute does not have to eat away the productivity of the day. Unless you’re the one behind the wheel. Eyes on the road ahead, literally and figuratively. We have to reevaluate how we value our time. 

Like live theatre, live yoga can be taught in a found-space like a park, empty warehouse or apartment. Such is also the case for that vague parameter of what constitutes a yoga classroom, or what it means to hold space for your students, even if that physical space is far away. Beyond the gym or studio, your office is wherever your students are. Instead of desks. There are mats. Instead of modern corporate art, there are vinyl sticky oms and lotus flowers adorning a doorway. Or, simply, and often times the most peaceful, there is the beauty of nature all around. The glamor of the job lies in the fact that many of us vociferously long for a life away from a desk, unconfined, and free. 

Our American world values convenience over connection, and it has affected how we operate in the world, and towards each other. We are more isolated than ever, and at the same time bombarded with community that fits in the palm of our hand. So many teachers I have come in contact with have relayed to me that the former model for teaching yoga in studios or schools or gyms is a way of the past. People like to burn less gas, stay home, and have the practice come to them instead of the other way around. But what about us, your guides? As a mere human instructor, it is easy to become discouraged by the business of yoga and lose sight of why we teach in the first place. I’m guessing to be a personal trainer was not your reason for joining a teacher training. Or maybe it was. Either way, definitely ask yourself why is it you wanted to teach. 

When I teach yoga, it is always in person, at a gym/studio or in my home, and I do rather like it that way. I teach because it has always brought me joy, and I intend to follow that feeling no matter what I do. Given my rather introverted personal practice, I know, however, that it is not the only way to teach, spending more time getting to and from class than the class itself. I have been teaching yoga for ten years, all over the place. I also have a nine-to-five where I sit at a desk and manage schedules and appointments for others. My finances still depend on my desk job, and I’m one of the lucky ones, from my perspective. I live in a home where the cost of living is slim to none. I even get free lunch. And I am slowly learning the age old art of saying “no,” and “yes” where appropriate, instead of from an insatiable need or fear of missing out. But that is not the majority of cases, I have found, jetting around the island I call home spreading what I’ve learned about hatha yoga, and saving some pennies as I do so. And in 2020 it is my goal to carve out more time that is of value to me. So now I’m looking to see how my devices can serve me, instead of the other way around. How can my introversion benefit me and my business of being a yoga teacher? 

Research the online platforms available to you. Curiosity and drive work well together. How do you fit into the budding mold? Teachers and students alike have been able to share their practice online, with live classes streaming all over the world, not just pre-recorded like the days of yore. You are connected by an original, live sequence, to an indiscernible amount of people, breathing in sync with you. There is variety, a new class every day, and a new teacher too. A waterfall backdrop is no longer something you have to travel to experience but can be projected onto our very walls. Sure, we have to stretch our imagination a bit, but it is part of the fun, the endless play of yoga to find new ways of practicing. And teaching. 

So how do we evolve with the times? What does the future of your yoga journey look like for you? As Oprah said just the other day during her 2020 Vision tour at Barclay’s in Brooklyn: “You’re late. Stop complaining that you’re late, you’re late.” I’m paraphrasing here but what she said stayed with me. It made me question my mindfulness and my choices in pursuit of something I am wishing for more than doing. And accepting that I am the master of my fate, my office hours, and my style. My wish for all of you this year is just that: accept where you are and whistle wherever it is you work. Until you can find a better way that’s worth while.

the words living flowers in script writing

4 Signs of Distraction During Meditation

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It can be difficult to stay focused during meditation. Sometimes your mind wanders through overthinking, and your concentration can be disturbed. 

It is important to know when you are becoming distracted; that way you can bring your focus back to the meditation and acknowledge the distraction. Knowing what distracts you helps you get to know yourself. Everything has a cause and effect, as the sixth hermetic principle states. This means that each cause has an effect and each effect has a cause; a law of the universe. 

Every cause produces an effect.

A mental disturbance in meditation is not exempt from this law. A mere distraction in the mind can have multiple causes, and cause various effects. We live in this infinite change of cause and effect; all events which take place are held together by the thread of this law. We must observe the effects of something to lead us back to its cause. If we see that our friend is crying, we know that they are experiencing it because of pain. The crying is an effect which leads us closer to the cause. 

Similarly, when we observe the effects of our distraction during meditation, we are able to acknowledge the cause. The Buddha’s first noble truth to alleviating suffering is to acknowledge suffering. Before we can take any steps to heal, we must first acknowledge the problem. 

Meditation gives us the open space to do just that, through observation. 

In The Yoga Sutras, Patanjali shared four accompaniments to the mental distractions we experience during meditation to help us be more aware of when it happens. These accompaniments to distraction are: 

  1. Distress
  2. Despair
  3. Trembling of the Body
  4. Disturbed Breathing

Each one of these effects has its cause. Distress can be caused by a lack of sleep, overthinking, excessive worrying, poor diet, or fear of the future. Despair can be caused by dwelling in sorrow, ungratefulness, poor relationships, regret, fear, or self-doubt. Trembling of the body can be caused by anxiety, restlessness, nervousness, or fear. Disturbed breathing can be caused by shallow breathing, anxiety, lack of focus, anger, sadness, or discomfort. (Of course these are only some causes.)

Meditation is about becoming aware of yourself; so when you notice one of these four symptoms during your meditation, don’t react. Simply respond by noting that you are experiencing one of these symptoms, with gentle awareness. Because you sat in mindful awareness of yourself, you were able to experience one of these symptoms. It is through taking the time out to be with yourself that you get to know yourself. Notice when you feel one of the four accompaniments to mental disturbance, and use them as tools to get deeper to the source of your problems. 

Why am I distressed during meditation? Maybe your answer is a little like this: â€œTraumatic thoughts from my past surface when I sit quietly with myself.”Wonderful, now you are closer to the cause. Here and now, you can take the steps to resolve your past trauma. You can decide to journal, talk to a trusted friend, and release the burdens of the past which still haunt you. 

Until you sit in meditation and acknowledge how distressed you truly are, you may not ever take the time to heal. When this mental disturbance haunts you while you sit still, it is an important reminder that there are issues to be resolved.  Always be aware of the four mental disturbances during your meditation so that you may get closer to the root causes of your issues, resolve them, and enjoy a meditation free from those burdens as you continue to heal with your awareness!

Distress, despair, a trembling body, and disturbed breathing work as symbols to represent a deeper issue. It is through awareness and acknowledgment that we may take the steps to heal, and make the necessary changes to liberate ourselves from the suffering that lingers deep within. Be aware, notice the four accompaniments to mental distraction, and use them as tools to help you know yourself. The path of yoga is that of self-discovery; and we can only know ourselves through observation.

As Patanjali states in The Yoga Sutras, “the restraint of the mind is yoga. Then the seer (observer) abides in its own nature.” Be open to observe your experience. and get to know yourself from that still place of being. The four accompaniments to distraction merely work as tools, a manifested effect to get you closer to the cause of your suffering.

Rubaab’s articles can be found at https://beingtobecome.com

meditating head merged with clouds ins sunset

Living Without “I”

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Stop saying ‘I’ so much.

Several nights ago, I drove one of my best friends and her partner to the airport.  On the way there, we had a conversation about how I was doing and where I was in my life personally, romantically, and financially.  I love these kinds of conversations, because they always shed light on something that at least one of us needs to work on.  I was telling them that I had been feeling really depressed and confused. I was having a hard time just being here in this life.  I didn’t know where I was headed or how I wanted to contribute to the world.  I felt lost.  My friend turned to her partner, who was sitting in the back seat, to ask him what he thought about my situation.  I know him to be a stunningly aware and wise human being, so I wasn’t surprised that he did, indeed, have something to say. 

He asked, “Can I give you a small piece of advice?” 

“Please”, I replied.  

He came back with, “Stop saying ‘I’ so much”. 

His words hit me like a ton of bricks, and I wanted to cry in that moment.  I’ve always thought of myself as a fellow truth-seeker and have been known to be “wise” in my own right, so it was incredibly embarrassing to think that I had not come to this simple realization myself.   

Refraining from using “I”, or “me”, or “my” in speech was something I had begun practicing during my yoga training in 2016.  Yoga teaches us to detach from the ego and to understand and know our Oneness with all of Creation.  Refraining from using this kind of language is one method that can facilitate this realization.  However, I discontinued this when I returned home out of fear that I wouldn’t be able to connect with or relate to those who didn’t know this practice outside of the ashram. Plus, I didn’t want to be looked at like a looney bird when I told everyone that, “This body is 27 years old” rather than, “I am 27 years old”, or that “There is anger” as opposed to “I am angry”.  So, as things go, I fell out of alignment with this practice of detachment. My friend quickly highlighted this fact by saying that I was identifying too strongly with the ego, which was absolutely true, and that if I was not able to rephrase a statement without using the word ‘I’ then there is no need to say it at all.  

The ‘I’, or ego, is not who we are but rather a construct of the mind built to protect us and ensure our survival.  It’s a very useful tool when we are running from danger or when we find ourselves in a physical altercation of some sort.  It is not helpful, however, when it sounds the alarm when we experience intense emotions, fear judgment, receive criticism, or have to spend the week with family members with whom we don’t exactly see eye-to-eye.  The point here is that when we constantly identify with ‘I’, we are identifying with the egoistic, earth-bound version of us and disconnecting from our Oneness with the Divine.  We are, instead, confining ourselves to the labels we have given this bodily form. The ‘I am this’ and ‘I am that’. There is no room for expansion, creativity, or curiosity.  We either remain complacent, or continuously move in circles, revisiting the same old thoughts, patterns, and behaviors; and we never really move toward where we want to be.  

…when we contradict the infinite wisdom of the Soul with the limited perception of the mind, we remain in a limited reality.

My friend then said to me, “You’re at the stage of awareness or consciousness where you want more out of life.  You want to give more and experience more of the Divine, but you’re too set on trying to understand everything before you make a move, which isn’t possible.  You’re not meant to understand first.  The understanding comes after you start making moves. The small voice in your head is always telling you which way to go, but you insist on arguing with it.”  He was right.  I knew he was.  My higher Self had been trying to guide me for ages, but I chose to argue with it and turn against it.  The way I see things is that the “small voice in your head”, the one that speaks in soft whispers, is actually the intuition.  It’s the voice of the Soul channeled through the heart and is the first one to speak.  The second voice to speak (or shout, in many cases) is the analytical voice of the mind, the voice of reason and contradiction. It aims to understand things whereas the voice of the Soul knows things.  

The problem with reason is that it can only take us so far.  There is a limit to it.  Reason is related to the ego and is bound by our limited perception of life, and so when we contradict the infinite wisdom of the Soul with the limited perception of the mind, we remain in a limited reality.  Now, I’m not saying the rational mind should never have a say in things. As mentioned earlier, it’s incredibly helpful when we are in real danger.  It’s also very useful when helping us navigate mundane tasks like getting onto the bus, ordering a cup of tea, and articulating our thoughts during a conversation.  But when it comes to knowing who we are and how we fit into the grand scheme of things, it often hinders our progression.   The voice of the Soul, on the other hand, is the source of all creativity, exploration, and expansion. Where the rational mind requires analysis and reasoning, the intuitive Soul requires trust and surrender.  And this, unfortunately, is where most of us fall short.  Society neither teaches nor encourages us to trust our intuition.  We pride ourselves on our big-brain intelligence, which is wonderful and necessary for our evolution but is destined to bring us into a downward spiral if we do not embrace intuition along with it.  

We have to know something before we can understand it.

Intuition creates the space for us to step into something new and unknown, something with which the ego and intellect are very uncomfortable.  They rebel against it at all costs.  The Soul says, “Go here”, and the intellect responds with, “Why the hell would I do that?! It makes no sense!  There’s no proof that going there will ever work for me. It’s never been explored before, and probably for good reason!  It’s dangerous.  It’s unknown! If I go there, I could fall into a deep, dark hole, and I don’t know that I could pull myself out!”  The rational mind comes up with so many excuses. It can’t understand the reasoning of the Soul, because there is no reasoning.  The Soul is one with Life, and there is no reason to Life other than to be.  And so, since the rational mind and ego cannot understand the Soul’s words, they argue against them.  

This is why listening to the Soul requires trust and surrender.  We have to trust that it is wiser than the ego could ever be and surrender our mind’s need to understand something it cannot yet grasp.  Allowing ourselves to step into the unknown gives us the opportunity to explore new territory, which the mind can gradually explore and with which it can become familiar.  This seems to be the essence behind what my friend said about how understanding comes after we begin to make moves.  We have to know something before we can understand it.  We have to know our Oneness before we can explore it.

There’s been a much greater awareness of language around and the identification with my old, worn-out, I’m-so-lost-and-depressed story since the conversation that night.  â€œI” statements are now rearranged or reworded to form more objective statements, which allows for the removal of one’s self (ego) from situations where it would have otherwise manipulated the outcomes.  There are much fewer overwhelming emotions of sadness and despair.  Old patterns are revisited less and less often. Decisions are not so difficult to make anymore, and, this time around, others’ opinions are of less importance.  But mostly, there is space—space to feel, to witness, to surrender, and to create.

My hope is not that you simply take my word for all of this but that my friend’s words of wisdom have shed some light on what is possible if we just give ourselves the chance to change the language of our experience in this lifetime.  My hope is that you try this new way of relating for yourself.  Step into that which your Soul knows, but which does not always make sense to the rational mind, so you might come to understand your place within it. Allow yourself to quiet the “I”, the part of you that is afraid of what is unknown, and trust enough to sit with the non-sensical, unsettling mystery of being.